35 Innuendo Quotes For Laughter

Innuendos have long been a staple of humor, offering sly nods and clever wordplay that add an extra layer of wit to any conversation. They invite listeners to read between the lines, often leading to laughter that's as much about the surprise of recognition as the play on words itself. Whether used in comedy routines, films, or everyday banter, innuendo has the power to entertain with its double meanings and cheeky implications. In this post, we've curated a collection of the top 35 innuendo quotes designed to tickle your funny bone. Dive in, and prepare for a journey filled with laughter and lighthearted mischief.

1. “I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.” - Mae West

2. “The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.” - Leonardo da Vinci

3. “Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.” - Groucho Marx

4. “I find suggestion a hell of a lot more provocative than explicit detail. You didn't see Clark[Gable] and Vivien[leigh] rolling around in bed in Gone With The Wind, but you saw that shit eating grin on her face the next morning and you knew damned well she'd gotten properly laid.” - Joan Crawford

5. “Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.” - Mae West

6. “If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.” - Dorothy Parker

7. “Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.” - Groucho Marx

8. “Nothing less than 7 inches.” - Cassandra Clare

9. “I felt very close to God.... My friends say that's because I was always on my knees.” - Armistead Maupin

10. “As for this," Magnus said sliding the stele into Jace's jeans pocket, "keep it in your pants, Shadowhunter." - 219” - Cassandra Clare

11. “Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?A: You can't hear an enzyme.” - Dorothy Parker

12. “Would you like to cross another item off this list today?""I should like that very much. Which do you propose?""I think it's time to try riding astride"."You can't mean...""Oh, but I do, indeed, mean, Empress.” - Sarah MacLean

13. “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” - Mae West

14. “I can draw you a diagram. Hint: I'm slot B, and you're tab A.” - Kresley Cole

15. “When women go wrong, men go right after them.” - Mae West

16. “I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.” - Claudia Shear

17. “From what I know of you already, you have quite a reputation for providing customer satisfaction."Julie's cheeks burned. For Kate's benefit she said, "I try." "Oh, I'm certain you do more than try. You go all out." He paused for several beats. Then, "I've driven past the gallery thousands of times and always admired the works displayed in the windows. But I haven't had a reason to stop.""And now you did?""Now I did."She drew herself up. "Well, I'm sure Katherine will find the perfect piece for you. She's very knowledgeable.""He came to see you.""That's right, Ms. Rutledge. Not that Ms. Fields isn't perfectly charming and, I'm sure, knowledgeable." He shot Kate a smile over his shoulder, which she returned before he came back around to Julie. "But I'm placing myself in your very capable hands.” - Sandra Brown

18. “I have a flamthrower. (Zarek)You have a what? (Astrid)It pays to be prepared. (Zarek)Well. Those are nice for toasting marshmallows, but they’ll only make Thanatos mad. Regular fire won’t hurt him. I have this really neat gelatinous goo that comes out with my fire and it squirts my victims so that it don’t come off. Wanna see it? (Simi)No! (Zarek/Astrid)No? I don’t like that word. (Simi)We love you, Simi. We’re just scared of your goo. (Astrid)Oh, that I understand. Okay, you can live. (Simi)” - Sherrilyn Kenyon

19. “Oh, I can never get enough. Which, incidentally, is what your sister said when--” - Cassandra Clare

20. “She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.” - Mae West

21. “What, with my tongue in your tail? nay, come again,Good Kate; I am a gentleman.” - William Shakespeare

22. “I can't possess anyone else. Trust me, I've been trying to get inside Lara Casnoff ever since we got here. Which...sounds really wrong.” - Rachel Hawkins

23. “Remember how it felt yesterday? What you saw me do?” I snorted and grinned. “Man, do I ever. I remembered twice last night and again this morning.” - Missy Welsh

24. “Oh, please," I rolled my eyes, "You're a leftie, Barrons.""Touche, Ms. Lane," he murmured.” - Karen Marie Moning

25. “Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.” - Groucho Marx

26. “Instead (Harry) contented himself with scrawling a note to Ron: Let's do it tonight.” - J.K. Rowling

27. “An expensive play toy. It's different, so people want it. Then they get bored, look for something newer, better. I don't work that way."A slow nod of a face badly in need of a shave. "I don't either."I slipped my hand from under his, picked up the Stinger again. "There's much to be said for dependability. Reliability. Consistency." I held it up, as if in inspection. it was plan and functional compared to the sleek Carver. "It's not fancy. No Frills. But it will never, ever let me down.” - Linnea Sinclair

28. “I've had Good and I've had Bad, and the worst I had was Wonderful!” - John Valentine

29. “She also said the wicked people needed love as much as good people and were much better at it.” - Alasdair Gray

30. “Musical beds is the faculty sport around here.” - Edward Albee

31. “Leave your incidental Dick.” - Vladimir Nabokov

32. “Lovely Arra Sails,nectar to all males,how I'd like to spear you like a whaler spears a whale!” - Darren Shan

33. “...are you as deft at handling your sword as Captain Westfall?""Better," he whispered in her ear.” - Sarah J. Maas

34. “Fuck your manners.""You don't have to settle for just my manners.” - Nenia Campbell

35. “Good conversation is very important, dont you think? Its so stimulating and pleasurable if done right. As a doctor it may surprise you how much I've learned on the subject. Its been a long times since I've had a really good conversation and sometimes I nearly ache from wishing someone would stimulate me. But unfortunately I havent met anyone yet who I want to really talk to.” - Laurann Dohner