35 Witty Banter Quotes

Whether you're looking to break the ice at a social gathering or just want to tickle your funny bone, witty banter can be a delightful way to engage with others. Clever, sharp, and often hilarious, these exchanges can turn mundane conversations into memorable interactions. In this post, we've curated a collection of the top 35 witty banter quotes that are sure to add a spark to your dialogues and maybe even leave you with a few new lines to impress your friends. Dive in and discover the art of repartee with some of the wittiest minds!

1. “Is not general incivility the very essence of love?” - Jane Austen

2. “I have been used to consider poetry as "the food of love" said Darcy."Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what isstrong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, Iam convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away.” - Jane Austen

3. “Remind me again-why do you hate me so much?"I don't hate you."Could've fooled me."She folded her cap of invisibility. "Look...we're just not supposed to get along, okay? Our parents are rivals."Why?"She sighed. "How many reasons do you want? One time my mom caught Poseidon with his girlfriend in Athena's temple, which is hugely disrespectful. Another time, Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens. Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift. My mom created the olive tree. The people saw that her gift was better, so they named the city after her."They must really like olives."Oh, forget it."Now, if she'd invented pizza-that I could understand.” - Rick Riordan

4. “Why can't you place a blessing like that on us?" I asked."It only works on wild animals.""So it would only affect Percy," Annabeth reasoned."Hey!" I protested.” - Rick Riordan

5. “Does your ma know you're this silly?" she demanded tartly.He nodded, comically sad. "The few gray hairs she has on her head are my doing. But" — with an exaggerated change of mood — "I send her plenty of money, so she can pay to have them dyed!""I hope she beat you as a child," Onua grumbled.” - Tamora Pierce

6. “You are shameless!” he said angrily.“Nonsense! You only say so because I drove your horses,” she answered. “Never mind! I will engage not to do so again.”“I’ll take care of that!” he retorted. “Let me tell you, my dear Cousin, that I should be better pleased if you would refrain from meddling in the affairs of my family!”“Now, that,” said Sophy, “I am very glad to know, because if ever I should desire to please you I shall know just how to set about it. I daresay I shan’t, but one likes to be prepared for any event, however unlikely.”He turned his head to look at her, his eyes narrowed, and their expression was by no means pleasant. “Are you thinking of being so unwise as to cross swords with me?” he demanded. “I shan’t pretend to misunderstand you, Cousin, and I will leave you in no doubt of my own meaning! If you imagine that I will ever permit that puppy to marry my sister, you have yet something to learn of me!”“Pooh!” said Sophy. “Mind your horses, Charles, and don’t talk fustian to me.” - Georgette Heyer

7. “You must not imagine that Papa or I have the least notion of compelling you to marry anyone whom you hold in aversion, for I am sure that such a thing would be quite shocking! And Charles would not do so either, would you, dear Charles?”(Elizabeth Ombersley)“No, certainly not. But neither would I consent to her marriage with any such frippery fellow as Augustus Fawnhope!”“Augustus,” announced Cecilia, putting up her chin, “will be remembered long after you have sunk into oblivion!”“By his creditors? I don’t doubt it.” - Georgette Heyer

8. “I was under the impression that I warned you that in London country ways will not do, Frederica!”“You did!” she retorted. “And although I can’t say that I paid much heed to your advice it so happens that I am accompanied today by my aunt!”“Who adds invisibility to her other accomplishments!” - Georgette Heyer

9. “I don't have a reason to lie to you. Not now.' Jace's gaze remained steady. 'And quit baring your fangs at me. It's making me nervous.''Good,' Simon said. 'If you want to know why it's because you smell like blood.''It's my cologne. Eau de Recent Injury.' Jace raised his left hand. It was a glove of white bandages, stained across the knucles where blood had seeped through.” - Cassandra Clare

10. “She trailed after him, admiring the line of his back. He began climbing the stairs, and she sighed with pleasure. Every bit of him was gorgeous. “Do you mind if I objectify you?”“Please do,” he said over his shoulder. “Particularly my knees, as they are oft-neglected.”“Maybe if you ever got your pants off, they wouldn’t be.”“It hardly matters, sweet; once they’ve come off, the attention isn’t likely to center on my absurdly handsome knees.” - Meljean Brook

11. “Jace perched on the windowsill and looked down at him. "You really don't get this bodyguard thing, do you?""I didn't even think you liked me all that much," said Simon. "Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?""I thought it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy's house a night and throw up in his mailbox.""I'm pretty sure that's not it” - Cassandra Clare

12. “Icarus.""Hmm?""I don't have a hidden agenda. Nor do I intend to use you or mislead you with my charm."Despite herself, she smiled, glancing at him. His face was studiously neutral."The day you act charming, I'll know something is wrong.” - Dru Pagliassotti

13. “Huh? Oh you have a hidden agenda, do you?" She laughed. His straight-faced humor always surprised her. "You promised me you didn't.""There is nothing hidden about it," he replied. My objective is obvious. I've decided I'd rather have you describe me as 'sweet' than a 'slagging pain in the tailset.'""Really?""Well..." he looked up from the bag. "Maybe not in public.""I might be able to confine myself to saying it in private, if you gave me a reason." Taya met his eyes, and he blushed.” - Dru Pagliassotti

14. “Come work for me, and I’ll tell you.”My eyes went to his. “You are a thief, a cheat, a murderer, and a not-nice man,” I said calmly. “I don’t like you.”He shrugged, the motion making him look utterly harmless. “I’m not a thief,” he said. “And I don’t mind manipulating you into working for me when I need it.” He smiled, showing me perfect teeth. “I enjoy it, actually.” - Kim Harrison

15. “Let me guess,” Eli said, his voice that low, even timbre, as always. “Drinking from kegs also falls under outdoor activity.”I just looked at him, standing there in jeans and the same blue hoodie he’d had on the first time I met him. Maybe it was the embarrassment, which had been bad enough before I had an audience, but I was instantly annoyed. I said, “Are we outside?”He glanced round, as if needing to confirm this. “Nope.”“Then no.” I turned my attention back to the keg.” - Sarah Dessen

16. “Travis: I didn’t know they made permanent makeup. I looked like a clown for a month.Connor: Yeah. They put a curse on me so that no matter what I wore, my clothes were two sizes too small and I felt like a geek.Travis: You are a geek.” - Rick Riordan

17. “The hallway led me to the stairway of a million steps. My leg screamed in protest. I sighed and started climbing. I just had to keep from limping. Limping showed weakness, and I didn’t need any enterprising, career-motivated shapeshifters trying to challenge me for dominance right about now.I had once mentioned my desire for an elevator, and His Majesty asked me if I would like a flock of doves to carry me up to my quarters so my feet wouldn’t have to touch the ground. We were sparring at the time and I kicked him in the kidney in retaliation.” - Ilona Andrews

18. “Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.”“Maybe you should have it gold-plated.”“Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.” - Ilona Andrews

19. “Peter! Were you looking for a horse-shoe?""No; I was expecting the horse, but the shoe is a piece of pure, gorgeous luck.""And observation. I found it.""You did. And I could kiss you for it. You need not shrink and tremble. I am not going to do it. When I kiss you, it will be an important event -- one of those things which stand out among their surroundings like the first time you tasted li-chee. It will not be an unimportant sideshow attached to a detective investigation.” - Dorothy L. Sayers

20. “Sure you are," Jack replied. He sashayed up next to me, and yes, it was a sashay, he was far too damn smug for his good looks. Damn me for getting all girly inside at the sight of him coming over to rescue my damsel in distress.Then he became the ultimate man.He picked up the flat spare, looked at it, and said "Yep, it's flat.""What are you, a rocket scientist in your spare time?""Only on the weekends.” - Candice Gilmer

21. “You're supposed to be a spirit of intellect. I don't understand why you're obsessed with sex."Bob's voice got defensive. "It's an academic interest, Harry.""Oh yeah? Well maybe I don't think it's fair to let your academia go peeping in other people's houses.""Wait a minute. My academia doesn't just peep -"I held up a hand. "Save it. I don't want to hear it."He grunted. "You're trivializing what getting out for a bit means to me, Harry. You're insulting my masculinity.""Bob," I said, "you're a skull . You don't have any masculinity to insult.""Oh yeah?" Bob challenged me. "Pot kettle black, Harry! Have you gotten a date yet? Huh? Most men have something better to do in the middle of the night than play with their chemistry sets.” - Jim Butcher

22. “I'll be sure not to let anyone but you carry me in her arms." He turns and leaves the kitchen before I can figure out what to make of his comment. A sense of humor is one more thing I don't think angels should have. The fact that his sense of humor is corny makes it even more wrong.” - Susan Ee

23. “Are you a murderer?""That depends, are you one of those animal activist[s] that believe meat is murder?” - Tammy Blackwell

24. “I would love a sandwich,' said Tybalt, with enough gravity to make it sound like a formal proclamation. Resolved: that we will have ham and cheese sandwiches.” - Seanan McGuire

25. “My dear October, we are bound by an enchanted rose made from the hair of a Duchess, and my blood is covering your hand. You can learn anything you wish to know about me merely by licking you fingers." Tybalt laughed a little. "Yes, you may ask me a question.” - Seanan McGuire

26. “You died here," I said quietly."October -""I wasn't here, and the girl I'm supposed to be finding was, and you died ." I looked up at him, glaring through the tears in my eyes. I left my fingers balanced on the floor, letting his blood sing its song of pain and longing. Longing to live; refusal to let go of the world. Maybe that's what differentiates the Kings and Queens of Cats from the rest of Faerie. They have a cat's stubbornness and the power to back it up. So when death says, "Go," they just refuse.My heart hurt. My heart hurt so badly, and I was still trying to recover from Connor, and oh, Titania, I couldn't do this again. The thought startled me. I froze where I was, still glaring.Tybalt sighed. "I know." he hesitated before adding, "This is not the time, and this is not the place, and my nephew needs us. But I ask you to consider this. I got better. I will always get better." He hesitated again - possibly the first time I'd ever seen him pause more than once after he'd decided he was going to say something.Finally, he said, "Some of us, October, will not leave you.” - Seanan McGuire

27. “Get a grip. You're pricklier than a feral cat," he said, sitting up."Too bad for you, I'm not in heat," I said, calming down.” - Tiffany King

28. “It's Keun. He wants to be put on speaker. He's being weird.""Fancy that," said the Duke. "Next you'll tell me that the sun is a mass of incandescent gas.” - John Green

29. “Simon laughed heartily. “I’m afraid the rest of us have to find talents to get our women into bed. Of course once they’re there, I have other talents that keep them right where they are.”“Handcuffs hardly count,” Christian said offhandedly.“If you mean the ladies cuffing me to the bed so they can explore Hunt Island,” he said, rubbing his chest, “…then point taken. These hands are capable of making any female climax by the mere brush of a pinky across her bare breast.”“I must have gone to the wrong island,” I said with a private laugh.” - Dannika Dark

30. “Just get up. What's your name, kid?" "G-man""I don't mean your codename down at the Dickhead Club. What does it say on your driver's license?” - Tad Williams

31. “Smite me? You think you can smite me? Do you even know what that means?I shrugged. "What do you think it means?" I thought I'd gotten it right."Nothing," she cackled, "Absolutely nothing because you couldn't smite me even if you knew what it meant.""Really? A minute ago you didn't think I could see you. How do you know what I can't do?"That slowed her down."Trust me, if I can see you, I can smite you." - Aurora to Peaches” - A and E Kirk

32. “Forceful little thing, aren’t you?”“You have no idea. So we doing this or not?”Those lush lips twitched. “Let me get this straight. We’re going to the bathroom, and I’m going to fuck you, and you don’t even care to know my name?”“I’d actually prefer it if you’d keep your stupid mouth closed.” Oops. Her hatred was slipping out.“Well, well. You might just be my soul mate.” - Gena Showalter

33. “Merlin, if you don't stop whining, I'm going to take Gwen's sword and beat you to death with it," said Arthur, evenly."It's plastic.""So it will take me a long time. I'm still game.” - FayJay

34. “Thomas hooked a thumb at Butters. "Check out Dr. Marcus Welby, MD, here.""I'd have gone with Doogie Howser, maybe," I said."Split the difference at McCoy?" Thomas asked?"Perfect.” - Jim Butcher

35. “I have never been with an ugly woman!” he argues.“You’ve never been with one that can tie her own shoe laces either” - R.S. Burnett