39 Quotes About Alcohol

Alcohol has long been a muse for poets, writers, and thinkers, inspiring a myriad of thoughts and quotes that capture its essence and impact. From tales of wild nights to reflections on its role in human society, these quotes delve into the multifaceted relationship we have with alcohol. Whether you view it as a fleeting source of joy, a catalyst for creativity, or a complex societal phenomenon, there's a quote to resonate with your perspective. Join us as we explore a curated selection of 39 insightful, humorous, and thought-provoking quotes that paint a vivid picture of alcohol's place in our lives.

1. “That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.” - Charles Bukowski

2. “There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.” - Chelsea Handler

3. “Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.” - G.K. Chesterton

4. “I'm not drunk, just a little stoned.” - Gerard Way

5. “It was like a Russian party, Arkady thought. People got drunk, recklessly confessed their love, spilled their festering dislike, had hysterics, marched out, were dragged back in and revived with brandy. It wasn't a French salon.” - Martin Cruz Smith

6. “If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.” - Craig Ferguson

7. “They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don't forget that the Russians - any Russian - can drink you under the table.” - Anthony Bourdain

8. “Mr Cobb was my escort. Such a nice escort, Mr Cobb. So attentive. You should see him sober. I should see him sober. Somebody should see him sober. I mean, just for the record. So it could become a part of history, that brief flashing moment, soon buried in time, but never forgotten - when Larry Cobb was sober.” - Raymond Chandler

9. “It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?” - Craig Ferguson

10. “[I]t is the wine that leads me on,the wild winethat sets the wisest man to singat the top of his lungs,laugh like a fool – it drives theman to dancing... it eventempts him to blurt out storiesbetter never told.” - Homer

11. “The one conclusion I have reached is that whiskey is a great leveler. You might be a hotshot advertising executive or a lowly foundry worker, but if you cannot hold your drink, you are just a drunkard.” - Vikas Swarup

12. “At first I assumed he was a Mexican, but slowly began to realise that a real Mexican probably wouldn't be wearing a sombrero in a London nightclub. And he'd probably have a real moustache, not a stick-on one. A Mexican with a stick-on moustache would be like a Super-Mexican, because he'd have two moustaches, and that'd be cool, because a Super-Mexican could probably use his poncho as a cape, and then I realised I was saying all this to the man's face.” - Danny Wallace

13. “I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.” - William Shakespeare

14. “I automatically assume people won't like me, so I don't talk to them unless they approach me first. I can't become a part of a crowd because I can't get past that feeling that I don't belong.” - Stephanie Kuehnert

15. “Curse you, cheap beer. Must find miso in tiny packet.” - MCM

16. “This isn't champagne anymore. We went through the champagne a long time ago. This is serious stuff. The days of champagne are long gone.” - Sam Shepard

17. “To a drinker the sensation is real and pure and akin to something spiritual: you seek; in the bottle, you find.” - Caroline Knapp

18. “It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?” - Amy Neftzger

19. “There has never been a 'war on drugs'! In our history we can only see an ongoing conflict amongst various drug users – and producers. In ancient Mexico the use of alcohol was punishable by death, while the ritualistic use of mescaline was highly worshipped. In 17th century Russia, tobacco smokers were threatened with mutilation or decapitation, alcohol was legal. In Prussia, coffee drinking was prohibited to the lower classes, the use of tobacco and alcohol was legal.” - Sebastian Marincolo

20. “Frankly, I was horrified by life, at what a man had to do simply in order to eat, sleep, and keep himself clothed. So I stayed in bed and drank. When you drank the world was still out there, but for the moment it didn’t have you by the throat.” - Charles Bukowski

21. “Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.” - Criss Jami

22. “Sam took another sip of the pruno. It went down smoother this time, possibly because he no longer had feeling in his extremities.” - Tod Goldberg

23. “Meanwhile the 3 a.m. drunks of the world would lay in their beds, trying in vain to sleep, and deserving that rest, if they could find it.” - Charles Bukowski

24. “The others would then fall silent and she would continue about doped gallium arsenide detectors, or the ethanol content of the galactic cloud W-3. The quantity of 200-proof alcohol in this single interstellar cloud was more than enough to maintain the present population of the Earth, if every adult were a dedicated alcoholic, for the age of the solar system. The tamada had appreciated the remark.” - Carl Sagan

25. “I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.” - Darynda Jones

26. “Come boy, and pour for me a cupOf old Falernian. Fill it upWith wine, strong, sparkling, bright, and clear;Our host decrees no water here.Let dullards drink the Nymph's pale brew,The sluggish thin their blood with dew.For such pale stuff we have no use;For us the purple grape's rich juice.Begone, ye chilling water sprite;Here burning Bacchus rules tonight!” - Catullus

27. “If hot food is they key to maintaining an expedition's stamina, then low grade gut-rot alcohol is the key to sustaining its sense of pleasure.” - Tahir Shah

28. “Bottled, was he?" Said Colonel Bantry, with an Englishman's sympathy for alcoholic excess. "Oh, well, can't judge a fellow by what he does when he's drunk? When I was at Cambridge, I remember I put a certain utensil - well - well, nevermind.” - Agatha Christie

29. “A drink centers me but I usually make myself wait until at least 9:00 PM for that. Or 8:00 PM. Whichever comes first.” - Bill Callahan

30. “It was one of those things they keep in a jar in the tent of a sideshow on the outskirts of a little, drowsy town. One of those pale things drifting in alcohol plasma, forever dreaming and circling, with its peeled, dead eyes staring out at you and never seeing you. It went with the noiselessness of late night, and only the crickets chirping, the frogs sobbing off in the moist swampland. One of those things in a big jar that makes your stomach jump as it does when you see a preserved arm in a laboratory vat.” - Ray Bradbury

31. “What is this thing you call substance abuse? All I wanna do is forget and get loose.Drinking and smoking over and overWhat's so great about a life that's sober?There's nothing cool about being youngWhen the monsters of night have stolen the sun.I'm tired of searching for words in the sky.All I wanna do is drink and die. Nothing is real. It's all a big lie. All I wanna do is drink and die. There's nothing cool about being youngWhen the monsters of night have stolen the sun.” - Benjamin Alire Saenz

32. “I see that a man cannot give himself up to drinking without being miserable one-half his days and mad the other.” - Anne Brontë

33. “The drink you like the best should be the drink you drink the most.” - JB Burgess

34. “Issues are like tissues. You pull one out and another appears!” - Gary Goldstein

35. “Wine gives one 'ideas,' whereas champagne gives one 'strategies.” - Roman Payne

36. “Trillian did a little research in the ship's copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It had some advice to offer on drunkenness. "Go to it," it said, "and good luck.” - Douglas Adams

37. “Alcohol was for people who basically wished to be dead but lacked the courage to kill themselves.” - MacDonald Harris

38. “I believe in 'Positives' not Negatives the only thing about Alcohol I'm Powerless over is those Damn Taxes” - Stanley Victor Paskavich

39. “A drinker does not exist. Whatever they say, it is just the drink talking” - Anne Enright