In a world brimming with the mundane and routine, a dash of wit can serve as the perfect tonic to uplift our spirits and spark creativity. The power of a clever turn of phrase lies in its ability to cut through the noise and resonate deeply, offering fresh perspectives and moments of insight. Within this carefully crafted collection of 43 witty quotes, you'll find an array of inspirations that blend humor with wisdom, encouraging you to view life through a more playful yet profound lens. Whether you're seeking a quick chuckle or a nugget of motivation, these quotes promise to entertain and inspire in equal measure.
1. “If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.” - Thomas Pynchon
2. “I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.” - Flannery O'Connor
3. “The flesh is sad, alas, and I have read all the books.” - Stéphane Mallarme
4. “Writing a book is like sliding down a rainbow! Marketing it is like trudging through a field of chewed bubblegum on a hot, sticky day.” - Betty Dravis
5. “I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter."(Letter 16, 1657)” - Blaise Pascal
6. “The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.” - Oscar Wilde
7. “A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.” - Mark Twain
8. “In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.” - Graydon Carter
9. “Lady Placida smiled. “History seldom takes note of serendipity when it records events. And from what I have heard, I suspect an argument could be made that you very much did earn the title.”“Many women have earned titles, Your Grace. It doesn't seem to have been a factor in whether or not they actually received them.”Lady Placida laughed. “True enough. But perhaps that is beginning to change.” She offered her hands. “It is a distinct pleasure to meet you, Steadholder.” - Jim Butcher
10. “You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.” - Dorothy Parker
11. “Ack!" I said.Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.” - Jim Butcher
12. “We sensible often resist intrusive love and its chaos practically, employing measures to prevent the former for fear of the latter. But for all our wit and work, that desperation for control also prevents the pure, transcendental freedom more often delivered by both.” - Tiffany Madison
13. “Do you like to slide?" His voice was eager.Stair rails! Did he suspect me? I forced a sigh. "No, Majesty. I'm terrified of heights.""Oh." His polite tone had returned."I wish I could enjoy it. This fear of heights is an affliction."He nodded, a show of sympathy but not much interest. I was losing him."Especially," I added, "as I've grown taller.” - Gail Carson Levine
14. “If I be waspish, best beware my sting.” - William Shakespeare
15. “Any woman who is sure of her own wits, is a match, at any time, for a man who is not sure of his own temper.” - Wilkie Collins
16. “Patience, grasshopper," said Maia. "Good things come to those who wait.""I always thought that was 'Good things come to those who do the wave,'" said Simon. "No wonder I've been so confused all my life.” - Cassandra Clare
17. “Brevity is the soul of wit.” - Alexander Pope
18. “Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.” - Christopher Moore
19. “A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.” - Oscar Wilde
20. “I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate.” - Elbert Hubbard
21. “-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.” - Terry Pratchett
22. “For a poet he threw a very accurate milk bottle.” - Ernest Hemingway
23. “He had let me know time after time that he was a thinking man, a man of intellect and wit. Yet one unintended hungry look into my eyes and he betrayed each of his words he had carefully spoken to me. I knew it in that instant. He was a viscerally driven man. And one day, he would possess me.” - Jamie Weise
24. “Vivid simplicity is the articulation, the nature of genius. Wisdom is greater than intelligence; intelligence is greater than philosobabble.” - Criss Jami
25. “Yes, I'm shallow, I don't mind admitting it. Perhaps I should admit that there's no end to the depths of my shallowness.” - Franny Billingsley
26. “[I]f you seek in every way to minimise my firm beliefs by your anti-feminist attacks, please recall that a small dagger or knife point can pierce a great, bulging sack and that a small fly can attack a great lion and speedily put him to flight.” - Christine de Pizan
27. “[S]ince you are angry at me without reason, you attack me harshly with, "Oh outrageous presumption! Oh excessively foolish pride! Oh opinion uttered too quickly and thoughtlessly by the mouth of a woman! A woman who condemns a man of high understanding and dedicated study, a man who, by great labour and mature deliberation, has made the very noble book of the Rose, which surpasses all others that were ever written in French. When you have read this book a hundred times, provided you have understood the greater part of it, you will discover that you could never have put your time and intellect to better use!" My answer: Oh man deceived by willful opinion! I could assuredly answer but I prefer not to do it with insult, although, groundlessly, you yourself slander me with ugly accusations. Oh darkened understanding! Oh perverted knowledge ... A simple little housewife sustained by the doctrine of Holy Church could criticise your error!” - Christine de Pizan
28. “Recollection is the only paradise from which we cannot be turned out.” - Rex Ellingwood Beach
29. “Captain Billings," he drawled finally, "if you will pardon my candor, I might remark that you are something of an ass, don't you know.” - Edgar Rice Burroughs
30. “If life is a game... I need new dice!” - Jay Little
31. “... fantasy is not practice for what is real—fantasy is the opiate of women.” - Shannon Hale
32. “The best way to measure the loss of intellectual sophistication - this "nerdification," to put it bluntly - is in the growing disappearance of sarcasm, as mechanic minds take insults a bit too literally.” - Nassim Nicholas Taleb
33. “Wealth can be created. Wit and intelligence can't.” - Nicole Williams
34. “The distrust of wit is the beginning of tyranny.” - Edward Abbey
35. “Soar with wit. Conquer with dignity. Handle with care.” - Criss Jami
36. “I can't believe you just did that! Are you crazy?"I gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Why do people keep asking me that?"He turned to stare at me, his eyes worried. "Who else keeps asking you that? Are any of them doctors?” - Janette Rallison
37. “Steven dreamed of you the very secondyou died(So the poem goes)and you may have visited himBut I'm pretty sure you don't believein poems” - Jon Paul Fiorentino
38. “You can tell a really wonderful quote by the fact that it's attributed to a whole raft of wits.” - Anna Quindlen
39. “Good madonna, give me leave toprove you a fool.” - William Shakespeare
40. “I'm living so far beyond my means that we may almost be said to be living apart.” - Saki
41. “I am back in London in a couple of days and looking forward to Sunday. Here is what we are doing. 1. Going to see my favourite mad transgender folk singer at the Roundhouse. 2. Then I am going to feed you tapas in a little place by Mornington Crescent. 3. Then we will go home in opposite directions and I will stare at my silent phone for weeks, wondering what happened. Or we will go for a dirty hump on Primrose Hill. Or maybe we will just have an awkward kiss/hug loaded with the promise of more next time. ” - Lucy Robinson
42. “conservative n.A person who possesses an underdeveloped taste for tyranny.liberal n.A person who believes in liberty, but only for the state.” - Leslie Starr O'Hara
43. “You want me to invite him to dinner.” “I want you to invite him to dinner,” she agreed. “You know,” he said, “most gay men don’t have mothers who are this enthusiastic about their love lives.” “That’s probably true,” she said. “You’re one of the lucky ones.” - Matthew Haldeman-Time
