46 Humorous Quotes About Relationships

Navigating the complexities of relationships can often feel like riding a rollercoaster. There are ups and downs, moments of joy and times of frustration. Yet, in the midst of it all, humor serves as a wonderful balm, bringing partners closer together and offering a fresh perspective on what it means to share our lives with someone else. In this post, we’ve gathered a selection of the most amusing relationship quotes that highlight the lighter side of love. From witty remarks to tongue-in-cheek observations, these quotes bring a smile to your face and remind you that laughter often is the best way to weather the storms of romance. So, sit back, relax, and let these humorous insights add a touch of levity to your relationship journey.

1. “She threw herself eagerly into the paths of unsuitable men.” - Anne Taintor

2. “I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.” - Steven Wright

3. “Men are men, mortal or not.” - KC Randall

4. “The venn diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t wanna date is a circle.” - John Green

5. “When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed over British Rail sandwich?” - Helen Fielding

6. “He was uncomplicated and upbeat and easy. At one point, I might have thought these traits made him a simpleton, but now I think they just translate to happiness.” - Emily Giffin

7. “Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing after all.” - Elizabeth Bennet

8. “Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said.Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked.” - Janet Evanovich

9. “Mereka yang sekalipun belum pernah naik vespa adalah penyia-nyia hidup” - ifdal sukri

10. “jodohmu bukan kereta, baiknya jangan hanya di tunggu, tapi di cari!” - ifdal sukri

11. “Me arrodillé ante un póster de Marilyn Monroe y le pedí su intervención. Le rogué que borrara mi nombre de su agenda y de su mente desquiciada.” - Raúl Rodríguez Cetina

12. “I thought about the difference between a mama's girl and a daddy's girl. I decided that a daughter who belongs to her daddy expects gifts, while a daughter who belongs to her mama expects a lot more. Not from her mama. From herself.” - Victoria Bond

13. “His mind’s always on something else. He’d live in a ratty cardigan, and he’s always worrying holes in the pockets of his pants. He can never seem to find his wallet or anything in the refrigerator. And just when you think he’s not paying any attention to what you’re saying or doing, he comes up with exactly the right answer or solution.”", [J.D. Robb, Celebrity In Death"“People""who expect perfection in a mate miss a lot of fun—and sweetness.", [J.D. Robb, Celebrity In Death]” - J.D. Robb

14. “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” - Carroll Bryant

15. “I suffer for birds and firefliesbut not frogs, she said,and threw him across the room.Kaboom!Like a genie out of a samovar,a handsome prince arose in the corner of the bedroom.” - Anne Sexton

16. “I wish I could print up a sign and tape it on my forehead. I OFFICIALLY DO NOT WANT TO KISS ETHAN WATE. NOW PLEASE LET ME BE FRIENDS WITH HIM.” - Kami Garcia

17. “You‟re my mate. Think you can handle that?”It was hard to speak with her heart bursting open. “Think you can handle me?”“So long as you're gentle with me.”"Emmett to Ria - Whisper of sin” - Nalini Singh

18. “Clay, if anyone followed anyone, it was me tagging along after you. I didn’t dare order you around.”“Load of shit,” he muttered, but she thought she heard a softening in his tone. “You fucking made me attend tea parties.”She remembered his threat before the first one: “Tell anyone and I’ll eat you and use your bones as toothpicks.”~ Talin and Clay dialogue” - Nalini Singh

19. “What do you think?” I asked, a teasing smile curving my lips. “Did we know each other in another life?”He gave a faint smile. “I can guarantee it.”I looked up at him, surprised by his seriousness. “Oh really?” I said, cocking an eyebrow coyly, “So what was I like, oh-expert-on-my-past-life?”A smile touched his lips. As he thought, he seemed to be in another place.When he came out of his trance, he answered, “Similar to how you are now. Smart,funny, stunningly beautiful . . . and you were a horrible pool player then too.” He laughed as I punched him in the shoulder.“Very funny,” I said.“Your punches used to hurt less though.” - Angela Corbett

20. “Safety tip. When you see smoke run, never wait for fire.” - Danielle Sibarium

21. “I will never deny that life isn't fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk.” - Criss Jami

22. “Just because you're in the market for a minivan doesn't mean you can't test drive a hotrod.” - Inez Kelley

23. “I see uncool people!” - Tonya Hurley

24. “In any perfect relationship men should remember it's a matter of direction; she takes what's right and you take what's left.” - Solitaire Parke

25. “Men are very sensitive, Mma Makutsi. You would not always think it to look at them, but they are. They do not like you to point out that they are wrong, even when they are. That is the way things are, Mma--it just is.” - Alexander McCall Smith

26. “When we do it again," he told her, his hands hot on her, "it'll be where I want,when I want,with spotlights if I want.""I don't think so", she said and he kissed her again and she thought, Oh, hell, wherever you want, and kissed him back."Whatever I want," he whispered in her ear."Okay," she whispered back.” - Jennifer Cruise (Bet Me)

27. “Vin: I don't know -- and it's all your fault, you know. I used to understand everything. Now it's all confused.Kelsier: Yes, we've messed you up right properly.” - Brandon Sanderson

28. “either love me or leave me alone." — jay-z” - Jay-Z

29. “I suppose you're right about some perspectives. Just a few weeks ago, I thought you were a dickhead.” - Mary E. Pearson

30. “I wish for you four animals: a mink on the shoulders, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and a jackass to pay for it all. To you!” - John Oldale

31. “Normally writers do not talk much,because they are saving their conversations for the readers of their book-those invisible listeners with whom we wish to strike a sympathetic chord.” - Ruskin Bond

32. “You go in, I go in.""Listen---"He took her face in his hands."You go, I go. That's non-negotiable. If we're to get blasted to hell or poisoned into lunatics, we do it together.""Crap, Crap. You have to look less rich and gorgeous."God help him, she made him grin. "I'll do what I can.” - J.D. Robb

33. “I am afraid it is quite clear, Cecily, that neither of us is engaged to be married to any one.” - Oscar Wilde

34. “Trick.” I say a little louder.“Shhh, sleep baby.” He mumbles. I laugh and smack his arm.“Wake up. I can feel your morning wood.” This gets his attention and he sits up, taking me with him. The arms wrapped around my middle graze my breasts as he shifts up and a tingle shoots straight between my legs.“God, Caroline, I’m so...” He stops, probably realizing that he doesn't have morning wood, “I don't have...” He’s actually pretty cute all sleepy. He laughs.“I know but I couldn't figure out how else to get your attention.” I shrug.” - K. Larsen

35. “It was this feminine conspiracy which made Southern society so pleasant. Women knew that a land where men were contented, uncontradicted ans safe in possession of unpunctured vanity was likely to be a very pleasant place for women to live. So, from the cradle to the grave, women strove to make men pleased with themselves, and the satisfied men repaid lavishly with gallantry and adoration. In fact, men willingly gave ladies everything in the world except credit for having intelligence.” - Margaret Mitchell

36. “Crying all the time had made her more beautiful. Grief will do that sometimes. Not for me. Loretta had left months ago and I still looked like hell.” - Junot Diaz

37. “It won't be whiskey, won't be methIt'll be your name on my last breathIf divorce or death ever do us partThe coroner will call it a broken heart” - The Band Perry

38. “I don't see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain't much of a recommendation for it.” - Larry McMurtry

39. “So thirsty," Jack groaned."So worried,"said the frog. I hope we don't starve to death.""Yes,"said Jill, "not starving to death would be nice.""So would not thirsting to death," said Jack"Thirsting isn't even a word," said Jill"It isn't?""No.""Then what's the word?""I dont know. You just can't.""Oh."This is, of course, the kind of inane conversation that occurs when people are slowly losing their minds.” - Adam Gidwitz

40. “There’s pretty much no way for me to answer that without sounding like an asshole, so maybe you could do me a solid and not make me.” - Alex Potvin

41. “If she happens to fall, I'll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards.” - J.A. Redmerski

42. “She pushed the car. But I was so distracted that i forgot to push the button on the timer, so we had to do the whole thing again. Which Lindsey found hilarious. "Ok" she said. "Are you ready NOW, or do we have to send you back to Button Pushing one-oh-one?" "Um, what's Button Pushing One-oh-one?" I was wearing a button down shirt that day. Lindsey reached out and poked one of the buttons into my chest. "There, that's how you push a button. Any questions?” - Jordan Sonnenblick

43. “I have something very important to say to you, but I can't tell you what it is. It's a very important thing, but I'll tell you another time.” - Rhona Cameron

44. “It felt like I had a thousand packs of Strawberry Pop Rocks simultaneously detonating in my chest, and I dilated at least eight centimeters!” - Piper Faust

45. “I think you and he need to talk. And once you do, I won’t have to worry about being jumped like a felon again.”Blay frowned. “He and I have nothing to say to each other—”“With all due respect, the ligature marks around my neck would suggest otherwise.” - J.R. Ward

46. “Watch it, buster. There's only room for one sarcastic malcontent in this relationship.” - Christine Warren