81 Simon Lewis Quotes

Are you a fan of Simon Lewis, the charming and witty vampire from Cassandra Clare's "The Mortal Instruments" series? Whether you admire his loyalty, his clever quips, or his unyielding bravery, Simon always has a way with words that leaves a lasting impression. In this post, we have curated a collection of the top 81 Simon Lewis quotes that perfectly capture his unique essence. From heartfelt moments to laugh-out-loud lines, these quotes will remind you why Simon remains one of the most beloved characters in YA literature. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to revisit some of the most memorable lines from everyone’s favorite Daylighter.

1. “So--what's it like, being a vampire?""Aline!" Isabelle looked appalled. "You can't just go around asking people what's it like to be a vampire!""I don't see why," Aline said. "He hasn't been a vampire that long, has he? So he must still remember what it was like being a person." She turned back to Simon. "Does blood taste like blood to you? Or does it taste like something else now, like orange juice or something? Because I would think the taste of blood would-""It tastes like chicken," Simon said, just to shut her up."Really?" Aline looked astonished."He's making fun of you, Aline," said Sebastain” - Cassandra Clare

2. “That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the childcatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.” - Cassandra Clare

3. “Maybe you should call him,' Simon suggested, trying not to think too hard about how weird it was to be giving a demon hunter advice about possibly dating a warlock.” - Cassandra Clare

4. “Magnus snapped his fingers again, menacingly. "Get up.""Or you'll be the next one to go up in smoke," said Simon with relish."There's no need to clarify my finger snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself.” - Cassandra Clare

5. “All right. Are you going to come back? Do you want any soup?""No," said Jace."Do you think Hodge will want any soup?""No one wants any soup.""I want some soup," Simon said."No, you don't," said Jace. "You just want to sleep with Isabelle."Simon was appalled. "That is not true.""How flattering," Isabelle murmured into the soup, but she was smirking."Oh, yes it is," said Jace. "Go ahead and ask her—then she can turn you down and the rest of us can get on with our lives while you fester in miserable humiliation." He snapped his fingers. "Hurry up, mundie boy, we've got work to do.” - Cassandra Clare

6. “Jesus!" Luke exclaimed."Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling.” - Cassandra Clare

7. “She winced and covered her ears as Eric,onstage, wrestled with his microphone."Sorry about that, guys!" he yelled. "All right. I'm Eric, and this is my homeboy Matt on the drums. My first poem is called 'Untitled.'" He screwed up his face as if in pain, and wailed into the mike. "Come my faux juggernaut, my nefarious loins! Slather every protuberance with arid zeal!"Simon slid down in his seat. "Please don't tell anyone I know him."Clary giggled. "Who uses the word 'loins'?""Eric," Simon said grimly. "All his poems have loins in them."'Turgid is my torment!" Eric wailed. "Agony swells within!""You bet it does," Clary said.” - Cassandra Clare

8. “You think she’ll be able to talk sense into him?” she asked. “His sister?”"If he listens to anyone, it would be her.”“That’s sweet,” said Maia. “That he loves his sister like that.”“Yeah,” Simon said. “It’s precious” - Cassandra Clare

9. “We need to talk,” she said. “All of us. About what we‘re going to do now.”“I was going to watch Project Runway,” said Jace. “Its on next.”“No you‘re not,” said Magnus. He snapped his fingers and the TV went off, releasing a small puff of smoke as the picture died. “You need to deal with this.”“Suddenly you‘re interested in solving my problems?”“I‘m interested in getting my apartment back. I‘m tired of you cleaning all the time.” Magnus snapped his fingers again menacingly. “Get up.”“Or you‘ll be the next one to go up in smoke,” said Simon with relish.“There’s no need to clarify my snap,” said Magnus. “The implication was clear in the snap itself.” - Cassandra Clare

10. “Isabelle drifted over, Jace a pace behind her. She was wearing a long black dress with boots and an even longer cutaway coat of soft green velvet, the color of moss. "I can't believe you did it!" she exclaimed. "How did you get Magnus to let Jace leave?""Traded him for Alec," Clary said.Isabelle looked mildly alarmed. "Not permanently?""No," said Jace. "Just for a few hours. Unless I don't come back," he added thoughtfully. "In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy."Isabelle looked dubious. "Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out.""That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?" Simon inquired. "No, probably not.” - Cassandra Clare

11. “Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know.” - Cassandra Clare

12. “I wouldn't change it," Simon said. "I wouldn't give up loving you. Not for anything. You know what Raphael told me? That I didn't know how to be a good vampire, that vampires accept that they're dead. But as long as I remember what it was like to love you, I'll always feel like I'm alive.” - Cassandra Clare

13. “Look," Luke went on, "In all the years I've known him, there's always been exactly one place Simon wanted to be, and he's always fought like hell to make sure he got there and stayed there.""Where's that?""Wherever you were.” - Cassandra Clare

14. “Just take the weapon you hold in your hand and drive it through his heart," Valentine's voice was soft. "One simple motion. Nothing you haven't done before."Jace met his father's stare with a level gaze. "I saw Agramon," he said. "It had your face.""You saw Agramon?" The Soul-Sword glittered as Valentine moved toward his son. "And you lived?""I killed it.""You killed the Demon of Fear, but you won't kill a single vampire, not even at my order?"Jace stood watching Valentine without expression. "He's a vampire, that's true," he said. "But his name is Simon.” - Cassandra Clare

15. “The Angel blade burns you, just as God's name chokes you," said Valentine, his cool voice sharp as crystal. "They say that those who die upon its point will achieve the gates of heaven. In which case, revenant, I am doing you a favor." He lowered the blade so that the tip touched Simon's throat. Valentine's eyes were the color of black water and there was nothing in them: no anger, no compassion, not even any hate. They were empty as a hollowed-out grave. "Any last words?"Simon knew what he was supposed to say. Sh'ma Yisrael, adonai elohanu, adonai echod. Hear, oh Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One. He tried to speak the words, but a searing pain burned his throat. "Clary," he whispered instead.” - Cassandra Clare

16. “Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression."Are you all right?" Simon asked, with some concern. "Your eyes are crossing.” - Cassandra Clare

17. “You're not gay, are you?"Simon's greenish color deepened. "If I were, I would dress better.” - Cassandra Clare

18. “One of the things he'd always loved about Clary was how easily caught up in her imagination she was, how easily she could wall herself away in illusory worlds of curses and princes and destiny and magic.” - Cassandra Clare

19. “No. That's Clary; shes's my best friend." Simon pocketed his phone. "And she has a boyfriend. Like, really, really, really has a boyfriend. The nuclear bomb of boyfriends. Trust me on this one.” - Cassandra Clare

20. “Kyle want to be a rockstar. I think hes working the one-name thing. Like Rihanna.""I have no idea what you're talking about.” - Cassandra Clare

21. “Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me? Vampire mojo strikes again.” - Cassandra Clare

22. “Jace perched on the windowsill and looked down at him. "You really don't get this bodyguard thing, do you?""I didn't even think you liked me all that much," said Simon. "Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?""I thought it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy's house a night and throw up in his mailbox.""I'm pretty sure that's not it” - Cassandra Clare

23. “I can keep a perfectly good eye on Simon, thank you. He's my neophyte Downworlder to mock and boss around, not yours.” - Cassandra Clare

24. “What's this?""That's a mango." Simon stared at Jace. Sometimes it really is like Shadowhunters were from an alien planet. "I don't think I've seen one of those that wasn't already cut up," Jace mused. "I like mangoes."Simon grabbed the mango and tossed it into the cart. "Great. What else do you like?"Jace pondered for a moment. "Tomato soup," he said finally."Tomato soup? You want tomato soup and a mango for dinner?"Jace shrugged. "I don't really care about food.” - Cassandra Clare

25. “So what was that all about?""I think," Jace said, "that she asked if she could touch my mango.""She said that?"Jace shrugged. "Yeah, then she gave me her number.” - Cassandra Clare

26. “We can buy you one of those books they have for little kids 'Timmy Has Two Dads'. Except I don't think they have one called 'Timmy Has Two Dads and One of Them Was Evil'. That part you're just going to have to work through on your own.” - Cassandra Clare

27. “They think they're better than everyone else.""No," said Jace. "I think I'm better than everyone else. An opinion that has been backed up with ample evidence." Kyle looked at Simon. "Does he always talk like this?" "Yes.” - Cassandra Clare

28. “You could dress it up with a sequined headband,” Magnus suggested, offering his boyfriend something blue and sparkly. “Just a thought.” “Resist the urge, Alec.” Simon was sitting on the edge of a low wall with Maia beside him, though she appeared to be deep in conversation with Aline. “You’ll look like Olivia Newton-John in Xanadu.” “There are worse things,” Magnus observed.” - Cassandra Clare

29. “You look lousy,' he said. Jace blinked. 'Seems an odd time to start an insult contest, but if you insist, I could probably think up something good.''No I mean it. You don't look good.''This is from a guy ho has all the sex appeal of a penguin. Look, I realize you may be jealous that the good Lord didn't deal you the same chiseled hand he dealt me, but that's no reason to-' 'I am not trying to insult you.' Simon snapped.” - Cassandra Clare

30. “You know, when someone prefers their own brother over you, it isn't a confidence booster.” - Cassandra Clare

31. “You're a public menace. You shouldn't be allowed out on your own.” - Cassandra Clare

32. “Oh, good. You're starting to talk about yourself in the third person. That's not a sign of impending megalomania or anything.” - Cassandra Clare

33. “As long as everyone's wearing their own pants.""I see I have come in on a fascinating moment in the conversation.” - Cassandra Clare

34. “I have a dress fitting to get to at three.' (Simon)'Cool,' said Kyle, slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder and heading for the door. 'Get them to make you something in red. It's totally your color.” - Cassandra Clare

35. “I was following you.' - Jace'Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me? Vampire mojo strikes again.' - Simon” - Cassandra Clare

36. “Look, I asked you here for a reason. Much as I hate to admit it, vampire, we have something in common.""Totally awesome hair?" Simon suggested.” - Cassandra Clare

37. “It doesn't hurt.""But my eyes do," said a coolly amused voice from the doorway. Jace. He had come in so quietly that even Simon hadn't heard him; closing the door behind him, he grinned as Isabelle pulled Simon's shirt down. "Molesting the vampire while he's too weak to fight back, Iz?" he asked. "I'm pretty sure that violates at least one of the Accords.""I'm just showing him where he got stabbed," Isabelle protested, but she scooted back to her chair with a certain amount of haste.” - Cassandra Clare

38. “But you've never drunk fresh blood. Have you?"Simon raised his eyebrows in response."Well, aside from mine, of course," Jace said. "And I'm sure my blood is fan-tastic.” - Cassandra Clare

39. “You don't need to worry, though. He's not my type.""I don't think I've ever heard a girl say that before," said Simon. "I thought Jace was the kind of guy who was everyone's type.” - Cassandra Clare

40. “Well, not in this case. He reached into the Inquisitor and he twisted..." Clary shuddered. "There was a lot of blood.""Like a special bonus for you," Jace said to Simon.Simon ignored this.” - Cassandra Clare

41. “But that's not what you said when she walked into the room," said Simon quietly. "You said, 'Why didn't you ever tell me I had a brother?'""I know." Clary yanked a blade of grass out of the dirt, worrying it between her fingers. "I guess I can't help thinking that if I'd known the truth, I wouldn't have met Jace the way I did. I wouldn't have fallen in love with him."Simon was silent for a moment. "I don't think I've ever heard you say that before.""That I love him?" She laughed, but it sounded dreary even to her ears. "Seems useless to pretend like I don't, at this point. Maybe it doesn't matter. I probably won't ever see him again, anyway.""He'll come back.""Maybe.""He'll come back," Simon said again. "For you.” - Cassandra Clare

42. “You want a piece of all this fabulousness?" He gestured to himself. "Well, my best friend comes along with it. I wouldn't cut you out of my life, Clary, any more than I would cut off my right hand and give it to someone as a Valentine's Day gift.""Gross," said Clary. "Must you?"He grinned. "I must.” - Cassandra Clare

43. “Isabelle and Sebastian? Hardly. Sebastian’s a nice guy – Isabelle only likes dating thoroughly inappropriate boys our parents will hate. Mundanes, Downworlders, petty crooks…”“Thanks,” Simon said. “I’m glad to be classed with the criminal element.” - Cassandra Clare

44. “Meanwhile,” Simon added, “I wanted to tell you that lately I‘ve been cross-dressing. Also, I‘m sleeping with your mom. I thought you should know.” - Cassandra Clare

45. “What?” Simon looked alarmed. ”I‘m not really sleeping with your mom, you know. I was just trying to get your attention. Not that your mom isn’t a very attractive woman for her age.” - Cassandra Clare

46. “Where's Simon?" Clary interrupted.Isabelle wobbled. "He's a rat," she said darkly.Did he do something to you?" Alec was full of brotherly concern. "Did he touch you? If he tried anything-"No, Alec," Isabelle said irritably. "Not like that. He's a rat."She's drunk," said Jace, beginning to turn away in disgust.I'm not," Isabelle said indignantly. "Well, maybe a little, but that's not the point. The point is, Simon drank one of those blue drinks- I told him not to, but he didn't listen- and he turned into a rat.” - Cassandra Clare

47. “The more you try to crush your true nature, the more it will control you. Be what you are. No one who really loves you will stop.” - Cassandra Clare

48. “Because', she said, 'your problems are not real problems. You're dating two beautiful girls at once. Think about it. That's like...having rock-star problems.''Having rock-star problems may be the closest I ever get to being an actual rock star.” - Cassandra Clare

49. “It doesnt hurt." "But my eyes do," said a coolly amused voice from the doorway. Jace. He had come in so quietly that even Simon hadn't heard him, he grinned as Isabelle pulled Simon's shirt down. "Molesting the vampire while he's too weak to fight back, Iz?" he asked. "I'm pretty sure that violates at least one of the Accords.” - Cassandra Clare

50. “He felt his heart, which no longer beat, contract, and he wondered if there was anything in the world as painful as not being able to protect the people you loved.” - Cassandra Clare

51. “One for sorrow, two for mirth, three for a wedding, four for a birth, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret that's never been told. ~ Simon” - Cassandra Clare

52. “We?" Simon looked at him in disbelief. "Are you ever going home?""What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you something," Simon said. "Do you find me fascinating to be around?""What was that?" Jace said. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying.” - Cassandra Clare

53. “I was trying to make you jealous!" Simon screamed, right back. His hands were fisted at his sides. "You're so stupid, Clary. You're so stupid, can't you see anything?"She stared at him in bewilderment. What on earth did he mean? "Trying to make me jealous? Why would you try to do that?"She saw immediately that this was the worst thing she could have asked him."Because," he said, so bitterly that it shocked her, "I've been in love with you for ten years, so I thought it seemed like the time to find out whether you felt the same about me. Which, I guess you don't.” - Cassandra Clare

54. “Maureen clapped her hands together. "Oh," she said in her elfin little voice. "It's pretty." "Pretty?" Simon looked quickly at the hunched shape on top of the concrete block. "Maureen, what the hell-” - Cassandra Clare

55. “At least Kyle wasn't home. That would be a hard one to explain to his new roomate. Nobody liked a guy who kept blood in the fridge.” - Cassandra Clare

56. “Being sixteen forever sounded good until you really thought about it. Then it didn't seem like such a great prospect.” - Cassandra Clare

57. “She is fine. She hates us both but it really didn't sound like anything else was wrong” - Cassandra Clare

58. “The nod means 'I am a badass, and I recognise that you too, are a badass.” - Cassandra Clare

59. “The dark prince sat astride his black steed, his sable cape flowing behind him. A golden circlet bound his blond locks, his handsome face was cold with the rage of battle, and..."And his arm looked like an eggplant," Clary muttered to herself in exasperation.” - Cassandra Clare

60. “I’d do almost anything for you,” Simon said quietly. “I’d die for you. You know that. But would I kill someone else, someone innocent? What about a lot of innocent lives? What about the whole world? Is it really love to tell someone that if it came down to picking between them and every other life on the planet, you’d pick them? Is that—I don’t know, is that a moral sort of love at all?” - Cassandra Clare

61. “Basia coquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is.""It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy," said Alec. "You just said "Kiss the cook.""Dammit," said Simon. "I knew Jace was screwing with me.” - Cassandra Clare

62. “I've noticed the Fair Folk often say 'perhaps' when there is a truth they want to hide," Clary said. "It keeps you from having to give a straight answer.""Perhaps so," said the Queen with an amused smile."'Mayhap' is a good word too," Alec suggested."Also 'perchance,'" Izzy said."I see nothing wrong with 'maybe'," said Simon. "A little modern, but the gist of the idea comes across.” - Cassandra Clare

63. “What have you done to my cat?" Magnus demanded... "You drank his blood, didn't you? You said you weren't hungry!"Simon was indignant. "I did not drink his blood. He's fine!" He poked the Chairman in the stomach. The cat yawned. "Second, you asked me if I was hungry when you were ordering pizza, so I said no, because I can't eat pizza. I was being polite.""That doesn't get you the right to eat my cat.""Your cat is fine!" Simon reached to pick up the tabby, who jumped indignantly to his feet and stalked off the table. "See?""Whatever.” - Cassandra Clare

64. “Is your inner vampire different from your...outer vampire?''Definitely. He wants me to wear midriff-baring shirts and a fedora.''So your inner vampire is Magnus?” - Cassandra Clare

65. “I don't know who Azazel is," he said. "Isn't he the cat from The Smurfs?" He cast about , but Isabelle just looked up and rolled her eyes at him."Clary?" he thoughtHer voice came through, tinged with alarm. "What is it? What happened? Did my mom find out I'm gone?""Not yet," he thought back. "Is Azazel the cat from The Smurfs?" There was a long pause. "That's Azrael, Simon. And no more using the magic rings for Smurf questions.” - Cassandra Clare

66. “I've got the Mark of Cain," said Simon. "That means nothing can kill me, right?""You can kill yourself," Magnus said, somewhat unhelpfully. "As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't.""There goes my Saturday.” - Cassandra Clare

67. “So it's true what they say about warlocks, then?"Alec gave him a very unpleasant look. "What's true?""Alexander," said Magnus coldly, and Clary met Simon's eyes across the table. Hers were wide, green, and full of an expression that said Uh-oh. "You can't be rude to everyone who talks to me."Alec made a wide, sweeping gesture. "And why not? Cramping your style, am I? I mean, maybe you were hoping to flirt with werewolf boy here. He's pretty attractive, if you like the messy-haired, broad-shouldered, chiseled-good-looks type.""Hey, now," said Jordan mildly. Magnus put his head in his hands. "Or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways, Is there anything you aren't into?""Mermaids," said Magnus into his fingers. "They always smell like seaweed.""It's not funny," Alec said savagely, and kicking back his chair, he got up from the table and stalked off into the crowd.” - Cassandra Clare

68. “Magnus's eyes went back to Alec. They were gold-green, as unreadable as the eyes of the cat he held on his lap. "Not my favorite topic, Smedley.""Simon", said Simon. "If I'm going to die for you all, the least you could do is remember my name.” - Cassandra Clare

69. “The warlock's gaze, on the flames, was remote and distant, as if he were looking back into the past. Simon couldn't help but remember what Magnus had said to him once, about living forever:Someday you and I will be the only two left.” - Cassandra Clare

70. “With the whole Mark of Cain thing, does that mean if I accidentally kick you during the night, I get kicked in the shins seven times by an invisible force?” - Cassandra Clare

71. “I need a bodyguard."Simon eyed him. "Have you been watching The Bodyguard? Because I am not going to fall in love with you and carry you around in my burly arms.” - Cassandra Clare

72. “I have a plan." He groaned. "I was afraid of that.""My plans are not terrible.""Isabelle's plans are terrible." He pointed a finger at her. "Your plans are suicidal. At best.” - Cassandra Clare

73. “Yech," said Simon."Don't 'yech' me. You're the one with the magical spit.” - Cassandra Clare

74. “With a sigh she reached into her pocket and drew out a small velvet bag, which upended on the table. Two gold rings fell out, landing with a soft clink. Simon looked at them puzzled. "You want to get married?” - Cassandra Clare

75. “So, technically," Simon said, "even though Jace isn't actually related to you, you have kissed your brother.” - Cassandra Clare

76. “Isabelle waved a hand. "No need to worry, big brother. Nothing happened. Of course," she added as Alex's shoulders relaxed, "I was totally passed-out drunk, so he could really have done whatever he wanted and I wouldn't have woken up.""Oh, please," said Simon. "All I did was tell you the entire plot of Star Wars.""I don't think I remember that," said Isabelle, taking a cookie from the plate on the table."Oh, yeah? Who was Luke Skywalker's best childhood friend?""Biggs Darklighter," Isabelle said immediately, and then hit the table with the flat of her hand."That is so cheating!” - Cassandra Clare

77. “Grief makes you feel alone, but you're not. I know you don't believe in-in religion-the same way I do, but you can believe you're surrounded by people who love you, can't you?” - Cassandra Clare

78. “I thought you were dead,” she went on. “I saw you fall down, and—I thought you were dead.” - Cassandra Clare

79. “It faded slowly, ebbing like the tide. He rolled onto his back, staring up, his head still aching. The black clouds were beginning to roll back, showing a widening strip of blue; the Angel was gone, the lake surging under the growing light as if the water were boiling.Simon began to sit up slowly, his eyes squinted painfully against the sun. He could see someone racing down the path from the farmhouse to the lake. Someone with long black hair, and a purple jacket that flew out behind her like wings. She hit the end of the path and leaped onto the lakeside, her boots kicking up puffs of sand behind her. She reached him and threw herself sand behind her. She reached him and threw herself down, wrapping her arms around him. “Simon,” she whispered.He could feel the strong, steady beat of Isabelle’s heart.“I thought you were dead,” she went on. “I saw you fall down, and—I thought you were dead.” Simon let her hold him, propping himself up on his hands. He realized he was listing like a ship with a hole in the side, and tried not to move. He was afraid that if he did, he would fall over. “I am dead.”“ I know,” Izzy snapped. “I mean more dead than usual.” - Cassandra Clare

80. “Simon?”“Yeah?”“Can you tell me a story?”He blinked. “What kind of story?”“Something where the good guys win and the bad guys lose. A nd stay dead.”“So, like a fairy tale?” he said. He racked his brain. He knew only the Disney versions of fairy tales, and the first knew only the Disney versions of fairy tales, and the first image that came to mind was A riel in her seashell bra.He’d had a crush on her when he was eight. Not that this seemed like the time to mention it.“No.” The word was an exhaled breath. “We study fairy tales in school. A lot of that magic is real—but, anyway.No, I want something I haven’t heard yet.”“Okay. I’ve got a good one.” Simon stroked Isabelle’s hair, feeling her lashes flutter against his neck as she closed her eyes. “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…” - Cassandra Clare

81. “Simon grinned. "You've never heard of Dungeons and Dragons?""I've heard of dungeons," Jace said. "Also dragons. Although they're mostly extinct.” - Cassandra Clare