82 Morganville Vampires Quotes

Morganville, a town where vampires and humans coexist under delicate circumstances, has captivated readers with its intriguing characters and suspenseful plots. Over the span of the 15-book series by Rachel Caine, fans have gathered countless memorable quotes that reflect the humor, darkness, and profound wisdom of the Morganville universe. Whether you’re a longtime fan or a newcomer eager to dive into the small-town vampire saga, this curated collection of the top 82 Morganville Vampires quotes will transport you back to the streets of Morganville, where danger and friendship go hand in hand.

1. “Claire. Wake up.” She blinked and realized that her head was on Shane’s shoulder, and Michael was nowhere to be seen. Her first thought was, Oh my God, am I drooling? Her second was that she hadn’t realized she was so close to him, snuggled in. Her third was that although Michael’s part of the couch was empty, Shane hadn’t moved away. And he was watching her with warm, friendly eyes. Oh. Oh, wow, that was nice.” - Rachel Caine

2. “Scoot over, man. I don't like you that much." "Dick. That's not what you said last night.""Bite me.” - Rachel Caine

3. “Oh -- who's the Queen?""Her, of course. The White Queen. You're just like Alice, you know. Down the rabbit hole with the Mad Hatter.” - Rachel Caine

4. “I don’t see a way in,” Eve whispered.Why are you whispering?” Myrnin whispered back. “Vampires can hear us, anyway.” - Rachel Caine

5. “Sure,” she said, and hugged the laptop bag closer. “What could go wrong?”Michael’s eyes flashed to meet hers in the rearview mirror.Besides everything, I mean,” she said.” - Rachel Caine

6. “Don't diss me, Danvers. I'm warning you.''I'm not dissing you,' Claire sighed. 'I'm ignoring you. There's a difference. Dissing you implies I think you're actually important.” - Rachel Caine

7. “That's it? That's your big goodbye?" Eve asked.Claire looked at Eve mystified. "I think I need guy CliffNotes.""Guys aren't deep enough to need CliffNotes.""What were you waiting for, flowery poetry?" Shane snorted. "I hugged. I'm done.” - Rachel Caine

8. “Did he just say--?""Yes," Claire said, smiling. "Yes, he did.""Whoa. Guess I'd better stay alive, then.” - Rachel Caine

9. “Hannah leaned against the wall. 'Mind if I call shotgun?''Since you're carrying one? Feel free.” - Rachel Caine

10. “Claire stretched out against the wall and kissed it. "Glad to see you, too," she whispered, and pressed her cheek against the smooth surface. It almost felt like it hugged her back."Dude, it's a house," Shane said from behind her. "Hug somebody who cares.” - Rachel Caine

11. “Better be," Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. "I could totally date somebody else, you know.""And I could rent out your room.""And I could put your game console on eBay.""Hey," Shane protested. "Now you're just being mean.” - Rachel Caine

12. “What about Myrnin?'Eve swallowed, almost choked, and Michael patted her kindly on the back. She beamed at him. 'Myrnin? Oh yeah. He did a Batman and took off into the night. What is with that guy, Claire? If he was a superhero, he'd be Bipolar Man.” - Rachel Caine

13. “Faster!" Shane yelled. Eve hit the gas hard, and whipped around a slower-moving van. The firing ceased, at least for now. "You see why I didn't want you to stop?""Okay, your father is officially off my Christmas list!" Eve yelled. "Oh my God, look at my car!” - Rachel Caine

14. “You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!" he called as she ran down the hall."Love you, too, jackass!” - Rachel Caine

15. “Oh, come on, just this once," Eve said. "Protects your neck. As in your arteries and veins?That's kind of crucial, right?""Thanks for the thought, but it doesn't go with my shoes.""You're seriously going to worry about what people think right now?""No, I'm worrying about people taking pictures and putting them on Facebook. That crap never dies. Kind of like you, Mikey."Michael, straight-faced, said, "He's got a point, because I would definitely take pictures. So would you."Eve had to grin. "Yeah, I would. Okay, then. But you'd look glam. I could fix you up with silver eye shadow to match.” - Rachel Caine

16. “I had a good teacher.""Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass.""I mean you, dummy.” - Rachel Caine

17. “I love arguing with you, Claire. You always surprise me. And occasionally, you even make sense.” - Rachel Caine

18. “Shane? Thank God, somebody sane. Well, sane-ish.” - Rachel Caine

19. “As she turned to concentrate on the portal, Eve tugged on Claire's shirt. "What?""Ask him where he got the boots.""You ask." Personally, Claire wanted the vampire bunny slippers.” - Rachel Caine

20. “Goodness,' Myrnin said quietly. 'I don't think I should be watching this. I don't think I'm old enough.” - Rachel Caine

21. “Whatever, crazy chick who maybe lives here and maybe also breaks into Michael's house when they're all gone. I'm out. Have a nice delusion. -Shayne” - Rachel Caine

22. “If you ask me if I'm okay again, I'm going to smack myself in the face just to punish you.” - Rachel Caine

23. “Me neither,” Shane put in. “Homie don’t play that.”“I wonder, sometimes, if your generation speaks English at all,” Amelie said.” - Rachel Caine

24. “What’s your name?' she asked, and surprised herself. But for some reason, she wanted to know.Dean’s brother—he hadn’t been just some nameless Bad Guy Number Four. This vampire wasn’t, either. He had a name, a history, maybe even people who cared what happened to him.'My name is none of your business,' he said, and continued to stare out the window, even though there was nothing but blurry brick out there.'Can I call you None for short?” - Rachel Caine

25. “When I want to be lectured on strategy, I'll consult someone who's actually won battles,' Amelie said. 'Not one who ran away from them.''Snap,' Eve said.'You know what they're talking about?' Shane asked.'Don't need to know to get that one. She smacked him so hard his momma felt it.” - Rachel Caine

26. “No way they could threaten him, not even with Amelie; he'd already given Amelie the finger on the way out of Morganville and he clearly wasn’t worried about her coming after him— or, if so, what would happen when she did.” - Rachel Caine

27. “Unfortunately, my army consists of one unreliable criminal, one girl with adisability, and one incredibly foolish young vampire with a tanning issue. I am not confident.” - Rachel Caine

28. “Now play nicely, make-believe dead girl” - Rachel Caine

29. “Hold on, Claire Bear! Next stop, Crazytown!” - Rachel Caine

30. “She smells better," Claire said. "And she made me cookies.” - Rachel Caine

31. “Jeez, Claire. If I didn't love you, you'd scare me.” - Rachel Caine

32. “What about e-mail? It is e-mail, yes?" Morley asked, leaning even closer. "E-mail is a kind of electronic letter. It travels through the air." He seemed very smug that he knew that. "Well, not exactly, and would you please either BACK OFF or go find a shower?” - Rachel Caine

33. “Where's your sense of adventure?" "Off on a beach somewhere with your sanity?” - Rachel Caine

34. “Morely: You're trying to make me [i]Amelie[/i] Oliver: Goodness, no. You'd look terrible in a skirt” - Rachel Caine

35. “Anybody else think that was weird?' Shane asked as they got into the car. Eve sent him an exasperated glance; the three of them were, of course, in the backseat. Amelie had the front, with Michael.'Ya think? In general, or in particular?''Weird that we got through the entire thing, and I didn’t have to hit anybody.'There was a moment of silence. Michael said, as he started the car, 'You’re right, Shane. That is strange.” - Rachel Caine

36. “He broke the kiss and leaned against her, breathing hard. "Good morning to you, too. Man, I just can't stay mad when you do that.” - Rachel Caine

37. “Go to hell and take that with you!” She shouted it right in Amelie’s face. Evewas an exotic blaze of color against Amelie’s white fury.And then she slapped the Founder in the face.” - Rachel Caine

38. “Welcome to Morganville.You'll never want to leave.And even if you do...well, you can't. Sorry about that.” - Rachel Caine

39. “Here. Have a Coke. That’s good for a sore throat, right?”“Good for everything,” Shane croaked, and took the extended cold can with good grace. “Thanks.”“You owe me a dollar,” Eve said. “I’ll add it to the five thousand you already owe me, though.”He blew her a kiss, and she stuck her tongue out at him, and that was the end of the subject, thankfully.” - Rachel Caine

40. “Eve hugged her, hard. “It’s beautiful,” she said. “What happened to the old frosting?”Shane, sitting at the table, raised his hand. “Took one for the team.”“Jesus, you ate it? All of it?”“Nah.” He held up the bowl that was sitting in front of him. There was still about half a cup left. “Couldn’t finish it all.”Eve blinked and looked at Claire, who shrugged and said, “I always thought he was sweet.” - Rachel Caine

41. “If he had any kind of a clue, he wouldn’t be caught dead with that stuff. See what I did there? Caught dead? I crack myself up.” Eve sipped more coffee she probably, at this point, didn’t need.” - Rachel Caine

42. “I'm worried he's going to ... do something crazy." "He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define crazy.” - Rachel Caine

43. “If you see Myrnin, tell him I said I want my slow cooker back.""Your- You let him borrow something you put food in?"Hannah's smile disappeared. "Why?""Um, never mind. I'll make sure it gets disinfected before you get it back. But don't lend anything to him again unless you can put it in some kind of sterilizer." That made even Hannah look nervous. "Thanks. Tell crazy boy I said hey." "I will" Claire promised. "Hey, if you don't mind me asking - when did he borrow it from you?""He just showed up at my door one night about a week ago, said, 'Hi, nice to meet you. Can I borrow your Crock-Pot?' Which I understand is pretty typical Myrnin.” - Rachel Caine

44. “Oh, Claire," he said. "You think me a far better man than I am. That's kind, and flattering." "Are you saying that you -""Doughnuts!" Myrnin interrupted her and darted away, to zip back in seconds with an open box.” - Rachel Caine

45. “He was a nice guy, middle-aged, a little tired, like most doctors usually seemed to be, but he just nodded and said, "Let me take a look at him. Shane?""I'm not dropping my pants," Shane said. "I just thought I'd say that up front.” - Rachel Caine

46. “I'm so glad you're okay.""So, how do we celebrate my okayness? It's my day off. Let's go crazy. Glow-in-the-dark bowling?""No""I'll let you use the kiddie ball.""Shut up. I do NOT need the kiddie ball.""The way you bowl, I think you might."He grabbed her in an exaggerated formal dance pose and whirled her around, backpack and all, which didn't make her any more graceful. "Ballroom dancing?""Are you INSANE?""Hey, girls who tango are hot.""You think I'm not hot because I don't tango?"He dropped the act. Shane was a smart boy. "I think you are too hot for ballroom or bowling. So you tell me. What do you want to do? And don't say study.” - Rachel Caine

47. “Here," Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. "Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone." He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the screwdriver from Claire's numbed fingers, and fastened it with a couple of deft, fast movements. "I'll be your hands."She wanted to cry, because it was so sweet, but it wouldn't do any good.” - Rachel Caine

48. “Oliver laughed - actually laughed."I like this new Claire," he said. "You should work her this hard all the time, Myrnin. She's interesting when she's forthright."Claire, possessed by the spirit of Eve, shot him the finger. Which made him laugh again, shake his head, and walk up the steps.” - Rachel Caine

49. “Myrnin, who hadn't said much, suddenly reached out and wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened, shocked, and for a panicked second wondered whether he'd suddenly decided to snack on her neck... but it was just a hug. His body felt cold against hers, and way too close, but then he let go and stepped back. "You've done very well. I'm extremely proud of you," he said. There was a touch of color high in his pale cheeks. "Do go home now. And shower. You reek like the dead."Which, coming from a vampire, was pretty rich.” - Rachel Caine

50. “You're much shorter than my mom.""Brat," she said, surprised into a giggle."That's no way to talk to a vampire.""Bloodsucking brat.""Better" he said.” - Rachel Caine

51. “Nobody's cut out for this town," Shane said. "Nobody sane anyway.""Says the kid who came back.""Yeah, kind of proves my point.” - Rachel Caine

52. “Myrnin turned away to pick up his Ben Franklin spectacles, balanced them on his nose, and looked over them to say, "Don't do drugs. I feel I ought to say that.” - Rachel Caine

53. “Yes," he said. "I am sure. I double-checked everything after you went home yesterday. I even made a few improvements, just in case." The first part of that reassured her. The second part... not so much. "What kind of improvements?" "Oh, nothing, really. Mostly just streamlining. You really did very well; I certainly don't want you to think that I am one of those people who has to be in control all the- Oh, well, I suppose that's actually true- I do have to be in control all the time. But only because I am in charge, of course.” - Rachel Caine

54. “She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose. When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. 'Nuh-uh. Mine.''Share!' she demanded.'Man, you are one grabby girlfriend.'She grinned. It always made her feel so fiercly warm inside to hear him say that- the girlfriend part, not the grabby part. 'If you love me, you'll give me a taco.''Seriously? That's all you got? What about you'll do sexy, illegal things to me for a taco?''Not for a taco,' she said. 'I'm not cheap.''They're brisket tacos.''Now you're talking.” - Rachel Caine

55. “How'd you get to be so good at this?""I had a good teacher.""Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass.""I mean you, dummy.""Oh.” - Rachel Caine

56. “She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not... you know, better.""Define BETTER with that guy.""Not all fangs and raaaaar.” - Rachel Caine

57. “I just—we were talking, and we fell asleep. I swear, we didn’t, um—’’‘‘Yeah, you’d better not have ummed.” - Rachel Caine

58. “He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define crazy.” - Rachel Caine

59. “Shane, in case we don’t … don’t come out of this, I wanted to say…”He glanced over at her, and she felt her whole body warm from it. She remembered that look. It made her feel naked inside and out, but not in a creepy kind of way. In a way that felt…. Free. “If what you say is true, and I guess it has to be, I think I know why we’re … together,” he said. “I think I’d fall for you no matter what, Claire. You’re kind of awesome.” - Rachel Caine

60. “I’m faster than the rest of you, if .. Because I’m a vampire,” Michael said, and it was some kind of breakthrough for him to say that. “If you get in trouble, I’ll be there.”“Nice,” Shane said. “I’m warming up to this bloodsucking thing, Mikey.”“No, you’re not.”“Okay, no, I’m not, but right now let’s pretend I am.” - Rachel Caine

61. “Well, friend, I don’t know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody,” Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging Claire along like a rag doll without any effort at all. “Have we been introduced?”“Probably not. Why, are you asking me out, sweetheart?”“You’re not my type, darling. Is this one yours?”“No,” Frank said, and looked at Shane, just in a quick flicker. “Let’s say she’s a friend of the family.” - Rachel Caine

62. “Amelie said, “I won’t be your servant in Morganville. Nor should you be mine. Equals.” She offered her hand to him, and he looked down at it, clearly taken aback. But he took it. “Now defend what is ours, my partner.”He grinned … grinned! … and whirled to meet Myrnin in midleap as Myrnin attacked.” - Rachel Caine

63. “I think so,” she [Claire] said. “Just watch your back, okay?” “Nah, Michael’s got mine.” He [Shane] looked straight into her eyes.“I’ve got yours.” - Rachel Caine

64. “Claire found herself staring at his feet, which were in bunny slippers. Myrnin looked down. "What?" he asked. "They're quite comfortable." He lifted on to look at it, and the ears wobbled in the air. "Of course they are," she said. Just when she thought Myrnin was getting his mental act together, he'd do something like that. Or maybe he was just messing with her. He liked to do that, and his dark eyes were fixed on her now, assessing just how weirded-out she was. Which, on the grade scale of zero to Myrnin, wasn't much.” - Rachel Caine

65. “Mirnin: Where's Shreve?” - Rachel Caine

66. “Oliver: Fear is the natural state of anything that dies.” - Rachel Caine

67. “Shane: "Bro," he said, in an injured tone, "I had to go out with a flamethrower, and you weren't there to see it." Michael: "Pics or it didn't happen." Shane: "Dude, little busy for pics. You know, throwing flame.” - Rachel Caine

68. “Shane: "Score," he said, and raised the crowbar in triumph. "Who's your daddy?"- Black Dawn” - Rachel Caine

69. “Hannah: What's your plan?Claire: Go get himHannah: Honey, that is not a plan. That's what we in the military call an objective.” - Rachel Caine

70. “Great," Shane said. "Look i'd rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners.""And to cleaning," Michael said."Look who's talking, Didn't the do one of those Animal Planet documentaries about the roaches in your room?” - Rachel Caine Black Dawn

71. “You've turned into quite a bossy little thing," Myrnin said. "I think I might like it.” - Rachel Caine

72. “See?" he said, with an unholy amount of glee. "I hardly broke any laws at all. I should drive more often.""No. Trust me, you shouldn't," Eve said. "Think of all the little old people and the children.” - Rachel Caine

73. “What was your name again?""Still Eve.""No, I'm sure it's something else. That doesn't seem right.” - Rachel Caine

74. “Hello! Your dear father is unfortunately very dead," he called. "And you said my dispersal system would never work!” - Rachel Caine

75. “Michael: 'Hey, remember when I almost didn't let you into the house that first day you came?'Claire: 'Yep'Michael: 'Well, I was dead wrong. Maybe I never said that out loud before, but I mean it, Claire. All that's happened since... we wouldn't have made it. Not me, not Shane, not Eve. Not without you.'Claire: 'It's not me. It's not! It's us, that's all. We're just better together. We... take care of each other.'Shane: 'Stop vamping up my girl, man. She needs coffee.'Michael: 'Don't we all. Vamping up your girl? Dude. That's low.'Shane: 'Digging for China. Come on.” - Rachel Caine

76. “Sometime, somewhere, life always comes to a fight, and peace always comes to an end.” - Rachel Caine

77. “We're clear," she said. "You're kind of a psycho. I get that” - Rachel Caine

78. “Shane, honey, in Morganville, friends are the only things that keep you alive.” - Rachel Caine

79. “She looked back to see Sam standing there at the edge of the strip of sunlight inside Common Grounds, staring after her with an expression on his face like he'd lost his best- his only friend.” - Rachel Caine

80. “Michael might have become a vampire, but watching him stand outside in the night air, breathing in his freedom Claire thought that was as human as it could get.” - Rachel Caine

81. “Shane's dad said, "I should have left you in the damn cage to fry, you ungrateful little bastard. You're no son of mine.""Hallelujah," Shane said softly. Free at last.” - Rachel Caine

82. “Ah, Morganville. Where dressing to hide bloodstains was just good daily planning.” - Rachel Caine