“There’s very little that I find to be more interesting and unpredictable than the behavior of a psychotic bitch, especially when it’s directed towards some other poor soul.”

“The paperback is very interesting but I find it will never replace the hardcover book -- it makes a very poor doorstop.”

“I saw a study the other day showing that some atypical anti-psychotic was at least as good as mood stabilizers in preventing suicide. It’s a very good thing to decrease suicide but we should care at least a little if I’m not killing myself because I feel better or if I just can’t remember where I put the damn gun.”

“Erin called us soul mates, but I…I’ve always known it was more than that. It’s like we share the same soul, and when we’re apart, each half is looking for the other.”

“There’s nothing creepier than having a psychotic Apollyon caged in the basement.”

“I’ve always felt almost human. I’ve always known that there’s something about me that’s different than other dogs. Sure, I’m stuffed into a dog’s body, but that’s just the shell. It’s what’s inside that’s important. The soul. And my soul is very human.”