“I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'.”

“When I pass, speak freely of my shortcomings and my flaws. Learn from them, for I'll have no ego to injure.”

“Now, you should admit it: you are here engaged in some military action directed against the Yuuzhan Vong, knowing full well that any action you take could embroil the people of this peaceful world in your destructive war.""Isn't destructive war kind of redundant? Until I see a constructive war, or even a giggly war, I have to think so."Mudlath & Han”

“I love writing, but hate starting. The page is awfully white and it says, 'You may have fooled some of the people some of the time but those days are over, Giftless. I'm not your agent and I'm not your mommy: I'm a white piece of paper. You wanna dance with me?' and I really, really don't. I'll go peaceable-like.”

“Margaret: Can I - can I just say something for the future? Leo: Yeah.Margaret: I can sign the President's name. I have his signature down pretty good. Leo: You can sign the President's name? Margaret: Yeah. Leo: On a document removing him from power and handing it to someone else? Margaret: Yeah! Or... do you think the White House Counsel would say that was a bad idea? Leo: I think the White House Counsel would say it was a coup d'etat! Margaret: Well. I'd probably end up doing some time for that. Leo: I would think. And what the hell were you doing practicing the President's signature? Margaret: It was just for fun.”

“Government should be a place where people can come together, and no one gets left behind. No one…gets left behind. An instrument of good.”

“You know, in the real world, there are people who are not actually Kantians....there are even Utilitarians.”