“They told me adventures were over, so I got off the internet and got on a plane. They told me kindness was a thing of the past, so I spent a year helping others in need. They told me love was dead, so I fell into it. Head over heels.”

“I told him to stop being so bossy.He told me I sucked bossy dick and never complained unless I wasn't getting my way, so I needed to get over it.Of course, at this, my head nearly exploded.”

“So I told her that I loved her, not for telling me the thing she had told me, but for the courage involved in telling something like it, something that sad.”

“If I thought I was head over heels for him before, this time I was so far gone, it’s like I fell into my own grave. Head over heels and down a whole. Bury me with dirt, stick a stake into my heart, and call it a day.”

“So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I’m dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over...”

“Back in the time when life was easy, the Internet would have told me what I needed to know. The great thing about the Internet was it didn't care why you were asking.”