“You're bored?" she says incredulously. "You have two hands and a penis. This shouldn't be a difficult equation.”

“ If you're not controversial you don't have anything to say. If you're not controversial you're boring. If you're bored you're boring to be with so don't ever tell anyone you re bored. ”

“You're English," he said. "And I will therefore make certain allowances for you. I realize you don't understand you shouldn't argue with me, and so I'll explain it to you. Don't argue with me."Incredulous, she said, "That's it? 'Don't argue with me' is your explanation as to why I shouldn't argue with you?”

“Ah-ha! I knew it! Penis problems”“Well, it seems that the cause of some of my problems happens to have a penis. Well, two actually,”“Oh sweet Mary! You’re dating a guy with two dicks?”“Ginger, no! It’s about two different guys.”“Oh,” she says, obviously disappointed. “Damn. That woulda been kinda cool.”

“If you have a sister and she dies, do you stop saying you have one? Or are you always a sister, even when the other half of the equation is gone?”

“Age shouldn't affect you. It's just like the size of your shoes - they don't determine how you live your life! You're either marvellous or you're boring, regardless of your age.”