“This is the only profession in which another human being can crap, pee and puke on you and you still think they're cute.”

“I write better with alcohol.”

“Shit happens. Deal with it.”

“That's what I learned when my last Russian winter thawed. The lesson wasn't about Russia. It never is, I don't think, when a relationship ends. It isn't your lover that you learn about. You learn about yourself.”

“could tell that one of the Russian proverbs he loved was on the way. ‘The only place with free cheese is a mousetrap”

“Every now and then, something so profound comes out of your mouth that I am convinced you have to be consistently stupid on purpose.”

“You lying liar," Vaan said, "who lies to me with lies. Nobody actually likes Shakespeare! They just pretend to sound more cultural and pretentious.”