“The oven became hotter and hotter, and Hansel began to sweat. Then a delicious smell wafted to his nostrils. Oh no! he thought. I'm cooking! He sniffed at the air. And I smell delicious!”

“You see, Hansel and Gretel don’t just show up at the end of this story.They show up.And then they get their heads cut off.Just thought you’d like to know.”

“She looked up, over the bandage that was nestled under her chin, and saw that the big-belly man with the red beard was starting at her, shaking his head. He looked like he was crying. "I got ya this time," he whispered, as if to himself. "This time, I got ya.”

“He stopped at every village, every hamlet, every house and hovel he passed along the way to ask if they had seen or heard anything of his sister,, Gretel. But no one had. "You mean Gretel, the old woman?""No, my sister.""Gretel, my sister's baby?""No, my sister. And she's not a baby.""I have a goat named Gretel.""No!”

“So thirsty," Jack groaned."So worried,"said the frog. I hope we don't starve to death.""Yes,"said Jill, "not starving to death would be nice.""So would not thirsting to death," said Jack"Thirsting isn't even a word," said Jill"It isn't?""No.""Then what's the word?""I dont know. You just can't.""Oh."This is, of course, the kind of inane conversation that occurs when people are slowly losing their minds.”

“There is a certain kind of pain that can change you. Even the strongest sword, when placed in a raging fire, will soften and bend and change its form... Trust me on this one. I know this from personal experience. I hope that you never will, but, since you're a person, and therefore prone to making horrible, soul-splitting mistakes, you probably will one day know what this kind of guilt and shame feels like. And when that time comes, I hope you have the strength...to take advantage of the fire and reshape your own sword.”

“Maybe you know something about young people, and maybe you don't. I, having been one myself once upon a time, know a few things about them. One thing I know is that if you don't want one to do something - for example, go into a room where there's a portrait of an unbearably beautiful princess- saying "It might cost you your life" is about the worst thing you can possibly say. Because then that's all that young person will want to do. I mean, why didn't Johannes say something else? Like, "It's a broom closet. Why? you want to see a broom closet?" Or, "It's a fake door, silly. For decoration." Or even, "It's the ladies' bathroom, Your Majesty. Best not go poking your head in there.”