“You ate my dog, you undead freak!”Hey! Watch the slander. I hear the acceptable term is ‘corporeallychallenged’ now. No need to be rude.”

“Hey Audrey,I am watching you de-clutter your house,do you need help?”

“Hey," Lula said to Ranger's man."You want to watch it? I just had my hair done. I don't need plaster in it. Next time just shoot a hole is this punk-ass loser, will you?”

“Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I’m here to tell you that undead are just like you and me … well, okay. Possibly more like me than you.”

“Hey now,” Maahes said. “Don’t be making that face. Okay? You start crying, I start crying, and I look like a total freak when I cry. Nothing worse than a big-ass man blubbering like a baby. Totally kills my chances with the women. You know?”

“You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.”