“Stealing is good, honest work," Said the theif, puffing out his chest. "Well, not honest, strictly speaking," he admitted after a moment. "Or actually good.”

“Told you," said Mick. "Things comin' together. We set off lookin' for the Utz kids an' find a tree full o' everybody. That's magic, too.""It's like a story.""Same thing. The universe don't like plot. Story is magic's way o' telling the universe to sod off.""That's good then, right?" said Scott. After this episode with Emily, he was ready for some optimism. "Magic wants us all to live happily ever after.""Not necessarily," Mick answered. "Magic likes a good tragedy, too.”

“For the gentle werelibrarian,who's strictly vegetarian,there's nothing like Tofillagerthe MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER”

“Look," I said halfheartedly. "Another one of those tumbleweeds made out of old hair weaves.""Tumbleweave," said J.Lo.”

“There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.”

“He spun out enough toilet paper to vandalize a house and carefully cleaned the seat.”

“When I was a little girl,' I said, sitting down, 'the wallpaper in my room had pictures of Noah's story.' [...]You know what's weird though? It's weird that the ark would be such a kids' story, you know? I mean, it's...really a story about death. Every person who isn't in Noah's family? They die. Every animal, apart from two of each on the boat? They die. They all die in the flood. Billions of creatures. It's the worst tragedy ever,' I finished, my voice tied off by a knot in my chest.[...] 'What the hell,'I said, 'pardon my language, was that doing on my wallpaper?”