“And the third is from him: "Second date?"I immediately text him back: "Hell yeah!"Then I collapse on my bed and enjoy that "butterflies in the stomach" feeling. I've felt the butterflies before from time to time, but this is the first time I haven't sort of wanted to attack them with a flyswatter.”

“A long time ago, Trinity and I made a list of types of guys you should never date. We add to it every now and then. It includes things like never date a guy whose computer costs more than his car (you'll never get him to pay attention to you except over instant messages), never date a guy who has a pet lizard (he's probably into weird stuff in bed) and never under any circumstances go on a second date with a guy who says the word "married" on the first date (he'll turn out to be a mama's boy or a religious type)”

“I mean, who wants to date a guy who thinks a girl who can't operate a fruit cup is attractive?”

“Isn't it generally known that you have to overlook flaws in people you date, to some extent? I mean, you expect them to overlook your flaws. It's only fair that you overlook some of theirs.”

“Whenever I start thinking about death, it always cheers me up to think about my funeral and my tombstone (which, by the way, will say "Here lies Harlan Sturr. Please don't pee on him.") ”

“There a lot of things I can't do," he says. "With my... health.""Well," I say, "can you kiss girls?”

“Not that anyone minds--no one's paying attention to the music. Most of them never really listen to music. Practically no one actually does. Even at concerts people pay good money for, instead of a three-dollar cover charge, they talk through the whole thing. I feel sorry for them, since none of them understand what it's like to have a song just get into your soul and become your whole world. They don't know what it's like when a song changes your life.”