“She is INSANE," I scream, standing in the middle of Marshall's living room."Of course, she's insane. That would be your genealogy by the way.”

“You didn't happen to see your future mother-in-law at that meeting today, did you?" May as well milk the effort. "Yes, the hormonal carp was present." "Marshall!" "She blew me a new one, as you would say.""She ripped you a new one," I correct. "The word blow has an entirely different meaning. I suggest you remove it from your lexicon.”

“We all know whose side you're on," marshall says, picking him up and launching him toward the window. The explosive sound of glass shattering fills the room. The walls tremble from the sheer heft of his violent exit."What the hell?" Barron rushes in with a needle at the ready."I've removed your son from the premises per Skyla's wishes.”

“I'll save the sacking for later," he continues. "We can mimic the plays of our conjugal union in the privacy of my backyard. We can roll around on the lawn like animals and invent our own naughty games-Naked Leap Frog-Marshal May I-Hide the Peak-Red Light, Green Light District-Obstacle Intercourse-Hot Lava-Capture the Sector-Skyla Says-the possibilities are endless. Our throbbing loins will rep the victory. The entire scenario is, as you would say-made of win."~ Marshall”

“Chloe Bishop took an ax and gave Skanky Skyla forty whacks. And when she saw what she had done, she gave her family forty-one." A tingle of fear rises through my spine as Chloe cackles her way into Ethan's bedroom.Chloe Bishop is certifiably insane.And dear God Almighty - I do believe she's going to kill us all.”

“Y'all got your heads tucked so far up your rears, she's petrified the kid's gonna need a shrink before he can shit in a dish.”

“Breast milk is big business." My mother uses my sarcasm as a springboard for her insanity. "We should consider opening a shop that caters to that market. We can call it 'The Milk Bar' or 'Mother's Milk'."...Ethan slaps his hand on the counter. "We can have ice cream made from that shit." He nods into my mother, stony faces, as if he didn't just let an expletive fly.”