“Y'all got your heads tucked so far up your rears, she's petrified the kid's gonna need a shrink before he can shit in a dish.”

“Skyla's back," he continues, "and before she's formally charged with yet another homicide, a few things are going to change around here. For one, your mother and I will be around the house more often because we no longer have to babysit that linebacker your sister tried to force feed her Michelins.”

“Hell - you'll be lucky to join the circus!""I don't need to join the circus." Ethan stretches his arms to the sky, bored with the entire situation. "I live with you, don't I?""He so got Tad there," I whisper.”

“Eat my food or die.""If I eat your food I WILL die." He belches before reaching in the fridge for a soda. "Yeah, whatever. Gimme something to commit a slow suicide with.”

“She is INSANE," I scream, standing in the middle of Marshall's living room."Of course, she's insane. That would be your genealogy by the way.”

“The human placenta is filled with nutritious benefits, one of which is creating a fertile environment. At my age, I'm going to need all the help I can to have a baby, and if having a placenta smoothie or two helps - I won't count it out.""That's like some pretty satanic shit." Ethan is quick to observe. "Like voodoo or something.”

“Breast milk is big business." My mother uses my sarcasm as a springboard for her insanity. "We should consider opening a shop that caters to that market. We can call it 'The Milk Bar' or 'Mother's Milk'."...Ethan slaps his hand on the counter. "We can have ice cream made from that shit." He nods into my mother, stony faces, as if he didn't just let an expletive fly.”