“If you want blood, come and get it. If you're here to fuck me, just name your place and position. Otherwise, get out.”

“Tiger and mountain lion. Fuck you. Fuck you for getting me out. You should have shot me. But you didn't have the guts to do it. Too weak. You just didn't care enough. You waited two years, and then you fucking stopped caring and tore out my fucking heart. Come on. Promises, Dan. Keep them. Cut it out. If you're a man.”

“If you're at a party with more than five people named Chad, get the fuck out right away.”

“If you want me you're going to have to come and get me.”

“You've got to get out and pray to the sky to appreciate the sunshine; otherwise you're just a lizard standing there with the sun shining on you.”

“If every time you call him you simply get his voice mail, and every time he calls you he wants to come over and "chill" at your place -- admit it; you're just a jump-off.”