“If poisons were ponies, I'd put my money on cyanide.”

“Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.”

“If there is a thing I truly despise, it is being addressed as "dearie." When I write my magnum opus, A Treatise Upon All Poison, and come to "Cyanide," I am going to put under "Uses" the phrase "Particularly efficacious in the cure of those who call one 'Dearie.”

“I'd just met a talking garden gnome and the nightmare version of My Little Pony.”

“If the young man ate candy, the wrangler says, that's probably what's kept him alive so long. Glucose is a natural antidote to cyanide poisoning. Based on anecdotal evidence, glucose binds withthe cyanide to produce less toxic compounds.”

“You backbiting, poisonous, treacherous, deceitful, wicked, clever girl. If this works I'll buy you a pony.”