“Put it on channel eight- I wanna watch ESPN!"Shove it up your a** with a flaming hot jalepeno pepper, Teddy!”

“I want a woman, Dad. I want somebody to love me. I wanna to be free again. I wanna walk in the backyard on the grass. I wanna put my bare feet in the ocean. I wanna run along the sand and feel it on my feet. I wanna stand up in the shower with the hot water streaming down my legs, in the morning...I wanna explode, Dad. I wanna get out of this fucking body I'm in. I wanna be a man again...I just wanna be a man again.”

“Put some muscle into it! Channel your inner Trent Reznor!”

“Watch the sunrise at least once a year, put a lot of marshmallows in your hot chocolate, lie on your back and look at the stars, never buy a coffee table you can't put your feet on, never pass up a chance to jump on a trampoline, don't overlook life's small joys while searching for the big ones.”

“You know, most girls sleep with a teddy bear or an extra pillow. But I gotta say, that's kinda hot...”

“She's so hot. I wanna tell her she's hot, but she'll think I'm sexist. She's so hot, she's making me sexist... bitch." ”