“Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.”

“We used to have a dog named Snoopy, you know, a real live dog. I suppose people who love Snoopy won't like it, but we gave him away. He fought with other dogs, so we traded him in for a load of gravel.”

“Is it possible to say "It was a beautiful morning at the end of November" without feeling like Snoopy?”

“When she was one, Snoopy lost his nose. Her first words were ‘no nose’ as she held Snoopy up for us to see his injury – which was swiftly repaired with cotton and needle. Later, when she broke her wrist, he accompanied her to the operating theatre. She ended up with plaster of paris from palm to armpit, poor child. So did Snoopy – he emerged with his left paw plastered!”

“I don't think twice about picking up my dog's poop, but if another dog's poop is next to it, I think, 'Eww, dog poop!”

“If you walk the dog long enough, you'll eventually be able to get him to poop.”