“Not "I'm sorry,Ericka," or "I suck," or "I lost all the feeling in my fingers and couldn't dial a telephone." Nothing!I can't believe what I'm hearing.In fact, I can't believe what I'm not hearing.”

“Okay,like I could write about being new to this school and feeling really self-conscious already, you know, 'cause I'm new and haven't really gotten my growth spurt yet...in any capacity."This gets a few chuckles and I plow forward."Then,at this meeting, maybe some cool, hot jock is sitting next to me and asks me to stand up, only to have the entire classroom staring at me as I say, 'But I am standing up!' Except,you know, funnier."A few kids giggle and the big guy next to me grunts, "Pretty funny."I smile over at my new comrade and smack his massive shoulder like we're old friends.I'm going to have to get his name."I mean, obviously it'd be better than that. But I just think it'd be good comif relief," I add, doing what my dad calls laying it on thick. "And we could put it near the pet obits to balance out all the high-school-is-depressing-enough vibes!"Now the laughs are easy and everyone's smiling, and I feel myself loosen up a bit. Just like Mom and Dad with cheerleading, these folks are cracking under my spell, and I start really amping up the drama."And I know I couldn't use 'Traumarama' as a title since Seventeen already does, but I'm thinking 'Trauma and Drama-Terrible Tales of Teenagedom,' or something like that, with some real-life gossip mixed in.”

“I take a deep breath and put on my best smile. You could sell ice to Eskimos, my dad always says, and looking at this crowd, I think I'm going to have to be quite the salesman.”

“Now it's just that dishwater blond," my mom continued as she snaps the last roller into place.I get up and kiss her on the cheek. "Thanks, Momma," I say, looking in the mirror over the mantel to check my pink plastic Afro head. Dishwater? Seriously? Way to build the self-esteem before the most important day of my life, I think; but what I say is, "I'm gonna go get ready for bed.”

“Call me crazy,but something about throwing myself blindly backward seems not so smart.I can't see where I'm going, and it's hard to fearlessly toss my entire weight back.Then Kimi, in all of her bossiness, takes control of the situation and basically threatens my life if I don't do it.I don't want to look bad in front of these girls; plus, I tell myself, I'll beone step closer to accomplishing the ten goals of Project Ericka.Deep breath drawn, prayers said, I lean back over their arms...and voila! I do a back flap! (A very slow back flip-kind of like a back bend over Mackenzie's and Laura's arms where I get stuck, leaving Kimi and Sarah to grab my calves and heave me over-but a back flip nonetheless!)”

“And then-The lights are on.My first reaction is the lack of one. I'm too stunned. One second later, though, I hit the deck, pulling at the blankets below me and shielding my eyes.”

“That's cool," he says."Yeah," I say, and we go into another marathon pause."So..." he finally says. "Think you can start talking to me again?""Oh,so you noticed the silencio treatment?" I tease. My horoscope in Seventeen this month encourages me to "take a romantic risk," so I'm going for it."Yeah,I noticed when I had to do Actividad thirty-three as both fruit vendor and customer," he says, and I can hear him grinning through the phone.”