“Fuck you. Fuck you with a chainsaw!”

“It's old. Really old.Is that a technical term?Yeah, it's technical. Translation: I don't know how old it is, but it's really fucking old.Wow. That is old.”

“Do you realize you're talking to yourself?Yes.It's good that you know the difference.”

“Why don't you tell me why you called me?Don't you know?I'm a therapist, nto a psychic.That would make your job easier, no?Scarier.”

“How do you file a restraining order against sadness?”

“Do you want me, too?Yes. And no.I'll take that. For now.”

“Can I ask you something?Boxers. Briefs exacerbate my claustrophobia.”