“If you kill him, call me. I'm bound by doctor client privilege.Really?No, but the courts make exceptions for assholes.”

“Why don't you tell me why you called me?Don't you know?I'm a therapist, nto a psychic.That would make your job easier, no?Scarier.”

“I don't want him to think I'm crazy, because I'm not. Desperate is what I am. Quietly desperate and insatiably curious.”

“Five years, my family thinks it's time I moved on. I'd like to move on with a non-asshole”

“Just say the word and I'll make him stay.I have to do it.There's no have to. Not even now.”

“You want something to drink?Is this a trick question?Yes. I'm going to read your personality based on your beverage choices, so choose wisely.”

“Just a cold. And I think maybe I'm pregnant, because I'm always riding the porcelain bus, or thinking about it.”