“It's satisfying. It yields immediate results. Something is dirty. Then it's not.”

“It's old. Really old.Is that a technical term?Yeah, it's technical. Translation: I don't know how old it is, but it's really fucking old.Wow. That is old.”

“He reels me in, cups my face with both hands, and becomes my whole world. This is a kiss--maybe the last one we'll ever know, so we stay there forever, warm and safe. When he pulls away, something is lost. I think it's my heart.”

“Five years, my family thinks it's time I moved on. I'd like to move on with a non-asshole”

“It's not just college grades that fall in a curve. Human decency is bell-shaped, with some of us slopping over the edges. Saints on one end, sinners on the other.”

“Worst case I'll bring Rain Man here. I'll tell him it's a date.Aha, so he's cute, then?Tasty. And smart. Can't beat that witha stick.”

“Can I ask you something?Boxers. Briefs exacerbate my claustrophobia.”