“Pa-rump, pa-rump, pa-rump. He's the Little Drummer Boy on speed.”

“A rabbit sneeze on the morning breeze sets homesick hearts aglow sitting with his rumps in a chicory clump and longing for a nice plump doe.”

“You...you loved her, didn't you, Pa?”Theodore sighed, and kept staring at the horses' rumps. “Oh, I loved her, all right,” he answered. “A man sometimes can't help lovin' a woman, even if she's the wrong one.”

“He reels me in, cups my face with both hands, and becomes my whole world. This is a kiss--maybe the last one we'll ever know, so we stay there forever, warm and safe. When he pulls away, something is lost. I think it's my heart.”

“Worst case I'll bring Rain Man here. I'll tell him it's a date.Aha, so he's cute, then?Tasty. And smart. Can't beat that witha stick.”

“Redder than a turkey's rump in poke berry time.”

“Just so we're clear, I dont' secretly want to have sex with either of my parents.Me either. I worked through that in college just to make sure. It was touch and go for a while, especially when my father kept asking me if he looked pretty.”