“Listen.” The voice is extremely loud, and I am forced to hold the telephone away from my ear. “I don’t know who you are, or why you have Jack’s phone, but he is my boyfriend, and—”Boyfriend? What is a boyfriend? Perhaps it is something like a beau. “Is he engaged to you, then?” I hope not.“What? No. Of course not.”“Oh, what a relief. He is my true love, and you do not sound very nice.”“What? Listen, you . . .”And then, strangely enough, she calls me a female dog.”

“What? Listen,you..."And then, strangely enough, she calls me a female dog.”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”That was a little too personal, wasn’t it?“I..” I was caught off guard.“Is that a yes, or a no?” He raised an eyebrow in curiosity as he stared deeply into my eyes.If I looked deep enough, I thought, maybe I could find what I was looking for.“No,” I whispered.He put a hand to his ear. “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you?” I had the feeling he had heard it loud and clear, but was messing with me.“No,” I said with one quick look at him and then I lowered my eyes toward the table.He smiled at my response. “Good,” he replied.Was I flirting? Was he?I looked back up to try to understand his answer. “And do you, Mr Kaden?”“Do I what?” He was definitely playing with me now. “Do I have a boyfriend? No. I don’t.”I laughed and couldn’t help but smile in the process.”

“I don’t know what your type is. I don’t know what your deal is. I don’t even know if you have a boyfriend. I know I like you and I want to be in yourlife, that’s it, and if you have any room for a boyfriend, I would like to be your boyfriend, and if you don’t have any room, I would like to be your friend.Any room you have for me in your life is great. If you would like me to start out in one room and move to another, I could do that.”

“Why does he have to be my boyfriend? Are you inferior if you don't have a boyfriend? Why does everybody have to be in love with somebody?”

“Have you met my boyfriend? He thinks running around in the middle of the night pretending he’s an elf is a good time. If that’s not fucked up, I don’t know what is.”