“Nice," I tell him. "So you literally steal candy from babies.”

“Davis is naturally a sweet-natured person.He's just been hanging around Nick and Gavin too long.Its a wonder they don't have him stealing candy from babies, or blasting rap music out of his car stereo in front of the retirement home.”

“Woman, if i was straight, i would steal you from him so hard.”

“I think," said my neighbour, her chin very high in the air (and still spiffed, I am glad to say) "that women who've never married and never had children have missed out on the central experiences of life. They are emotionally crippled."Now what am I supposed to say to that? I ask you. That women who've never won the Nobel Peace Prize have also experienced a serious deprivation? It's like taking candy from a baby; the poor thing isn't allowed to get angry, only catty. I said, "That's rude, and silly," and helped her to mashed potatoes....."You can't catch a man.""That's why I'll never be abandoned," said I. Fortunately she did not hear me. Did I say taking candy from babies? Rather, eating babies, killing babies, abandoning babies. So sad, so easy.”

“You know what I do? I steal things. Fuck 'em! I grab a handful of candy bars and six magazines and head for the gate.”

“On Furnishing One’s Home“Pick your furniture like you pick a wife; it should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it.”