“Matthew knew that phrenology was nonsense, and yet, years later, he found himself making judgments similar to those made by his father; slippery people looked slippery; they really did. And how we become like our parents! How their scorned advice - based, we felt in our superiority, on prejudiced and muddled folk wisdom - how their opinions are subsequently borne out by our own discoveries and sense of the world, one after one. And as this happens, we realise with increasing horror that proposition which we would never have entertained before: our mothers were right!”
In this quote by Alexander McCall Smith, the protagonist Matthew reflects on how he unknowingly adopts his father's judgmental attitudes despite knowing they are based on nonsensical beliefs. This realization leads him to understand the power and influence of parental wisdom and how their seemingly outdated advice can actually be validated through personal experiences. The quote highlights the inevitability of becoming more like our parents as we grow older, even when we resist it, and the gradual recognition of the truth in their words.
In this quote by Alexander McCall Smith, the idea of how we often find ourselves echoing the judgments and beliefs of our parents despite initially dismissing them as nonsense is explored. This reflective piece on the influence of parental advice and how it shapes our own perspectives highlights the modern relevance of how we unknowingly inherit certain biases and prejudices from our upbringing.
"Matthew knew that phrenology was nonsense, and yet, years later, he found himself making judgments similar to those made by his father; slippery people looked slippery; they really did. And how we become like our parents! How their scorned advice - based, we felt in our superiority, on prejudiced and muddled folk wisdom - how their opinions are subsequently borne out by our own discoveries and sense of the world, one after one. And as this happens, we realise with increasing horror that proposition which we would never have entertained before: our mothers were right!” - Alexander McCall Smith"
Upon reading this quote by Alexander McCall Smith, it is natural to reflect on the influence of our parents on our own beliefs and viewpoints. Here are some questions to consider:
In what ways have you noticed yourself adopting similar judgments or beliefs as your parents, even if you consciously disagree with them?
How do you reconcile the realization that your parents' advice, which you initially dismissed as prejudiced or outdated, may actually hold some truth in your own life experiences?
Have there been moments when you've recognized that your parents were right about something, despite your resistance to their opinions?
How does this concept of becoming like our parents challenge your sense of individual identity and autonomy?
What insights can you gain from examining the ways in which your parents' influence has shaped your own perspectives and decisions?
“We like to think that we plan what happens to us, but it is chance, surely, that lies behind so many of the great events of our lives -- the meeting with the person with whom we are destined to spend the rest of our days, the receiving of a piece of advice whic influences our choice of career, the spotting of a particular house for sale; all of these may be put down to pur chance, and yet they govern how our lives work out and how happy--or unhappy--we were going to be.”
“We never realise how transparent we are.”
“Artists were allowed to do that - to look, to gaze at others and try to find out what it was that they were feeling - but we, who were not artists, were not. If one looked too hard that would be considered voyeurism, or nosienss, which is what Cat, her neice, had accused her of more than once. Jamie - the boyfriend rejected by Cat but kept on by Isabel as a friend - had done the same althought more tactfully. He had said that she needed to draw a line in the world with me written on one side and you on the other. Me would be her business; you would be the business of others, and an invitation would be required to cross the line.She had said to Jamie: "Not a good idea, Jamie. What if people on the other side of the line are in trouble?"That's different," he said. "You help them."By streching a hand across this line of yours?"Of course. Helping people is different."She had said: "But then we have to know what they need, don't we? We have to be aware of others. If we went about concerned with only our own little world, how would we know when there was trouble brewing on the other side of the line?”
“Regular maps have few surprises: their contour lines reveal where the Andes are, and are reasonably clear. More precious, though, are the unpublished maps we make ourselves, of our city, our place, our daily world, our life; those maps of our private world we use every day; here I was happy, in that place I left my coat behind after a party, that is where I met my love; I cried there once, I was heartsore; but felt better round the corner once I saw the hills of Fife across the Forth, things of that sort, our personal memories, that make the private tapestry of our lives.”
“But we all waste opportunities,’ said Domenica. Every single one of us. Every young person does it. It’s because we think we have so much time, and then, when we realise that our time is finite, it’s too late.”
“We want to reorganise the world, and that makes our brains jump the gun –sometimes. You look at a newspaper headline, take in one word, and before you know it your brain says: yes, that’s what it says. But it may not.”