“I honestly can’t tell you. We’ve never had a situation like this before, “I admitted.“So you being an angel doesn’t meam…” He hesitated.“Doesn’t mean I have an answer for everything,” I concluded for him.“I just assumed it would be one of the perks.”“Sadly, no.”

“I look up, and he’s searching my eyes, just like he did after kissing me for the first time in the rain. “What are you looking for?”He doesn’t answer.He doesn’t need to.I know what he wants.And it’s not fair.“Just because we’re the only two teenagers on this whole ship doesn’t mean I have to love you. Why can’t I have a choice? Options?”Elder steps back, stung.“Look, it’s not that I don’t like you,” I say quickly, reaching for him. He jerks away. “It’s just…”“Just what?” he growls.Just that if I was back on Earth instead of on this damn ship, if I had met Elder at school or at a club or on a blind date, if I had my choice between Elder and every other boy in the world…Would I love him then?Would he love me?Love without choice isn’t love at all.“Just that I don’t want to be with you just because there’s no one else.” [p.57-58]”

“Well, let me leave it at this: if God does exist, He would have a great deal be sad about. And if He doesn’t exist, then that too would make Him quite sad, I imagine. So to answer your question, God must be sad.”

“I’ve been thinking about that ever since. Am I lucky? Am I lucky that I didn’t die? Am I lucky that, compared to the other kids here, my life doesn’t seem so bad? Maybe I am, but I have to say, I don’t feel lucky. For one thing, I’m stuck in this pit. And just because your life isn’t as awful as someone else’s, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. You can’t compare how you feel to the way other people feel. It just doesn’t work. What might look like the perfect life—or even an okay life—to you might not be so okay for the person living it.”

“I think,” I say, shifting my gaze to the ceiling so I don’t have to experience the torment of saying this directly to another human being, “Mitch might … have … thoughts …”It’s right about here that I get tripped up. “Um,” Arthur says after a long time, “well. I think so too. I mean, I always assumed so. Maybe on occasion he doesn’t precisely give off that vibe, but just because he’s subtle about having thoughts doesn’t mean—”

“Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want him to, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you with everything he has. | Learned that the hard way.”