“I'm a typed director. If I made Cinderella, the audience would immediately be looking for a body in the coach.”
“Cinderella never had it so good. All she got was a lousy coach and breakable shoes.”
“I'm Cinderella. No, I'm better than Cinderella, because she only got the prince, didn't she? I'm Cinderella with fab teeth and a shit-hot job.”
“Ah," he said. "I had an . . . artistic disagreement with the director of the panto. As it happens, I take issue with the objectification of women in Cinderella, and the reliance on shoes as a means of identification. Surely you understand.”
“I'm betting Cinderella didn't feel this foolish, but then again, Cinderella wasn't as clumsy as an intoxicated walrus.”
“Never look back. If Cinderella went to pick up her shoe, she would not had become a princess ....”