“It ain't no use putting up your umbrella till it rains!”

“Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. ”

“People use God like they use umbrellas...when it's raining.”

“I stood under the umbrella for hours before I folded it up and started walking. Umbrellas can block the sun, shield the rain, and if you flip an open one over, it can also be used as a large coffee cup.”

“One summer afternoon I came home and found all the umbrellas sitting in the kitchen, with straw hats on, telling who they are. ...The umbrella that peels the potatoes with a pencil and makes a pink ink with the peelings stood up and said, "I am the umbrella that peels the potatoes with a pencil and makes a pink ink with the peelings." ...The umbrella that runs to the corner to get corners for the handkerchiefs stood up and said, "I am the umbrella that runs to the corner to get corners for the handkerchiefs."..."I am the umbrella that holds up the sky. I am the umbrella the rain comes through. I am the umbrella that tells the sky when to begin raining and when to stop raining. "I am the umbrella that goes to pieces when the wind blows and then puts itself back together again when the wind goes down. I am the first umbrella, the last umbrella, the one and only umbrella all other umbrellas are named after, first, last and always."When the stranger finished this speech telling who he was and where he came from, all the other umbrellas sat still for a little while, to be respectful. ”

“Your penis will not shrivel up and die if you admit you want an umbrella instead of standing in the rain acting like a little water never hurt anyone. It's an unbrella, not a purse.”