“Babies were born, old people died, stocks were traded, and someone faked an orgasm. All in those five seconds.”

“I got shagged in Santa Barbara, and all I got was this fantastic orgasm.”

“Twenty-four year olds were my new favourite thing. I needed to tell Oprah to put them on her list.”

“I don’t know why you’re laughing, Miss Thing,” Nick said, turning his gaze to me. “You still fantasize over Joe McIntyre like you are thirteen years old!”“Oh, I own my obsession. If Joey Joe were here right now, I’d break him. I have no shame.”

“Wow, girls sure do weird stuff. Especially you American girls. So much shimmer and sparkle. Who told you tits were supposed to sparkle?”

“Hi, pot. It’s me, kettle,” Sophia snapped back.“Hi kettle, you have about thirty seconds before this pot kicks your ass.”

“I panted like a whore in church. The Church of Simon... where I was dying to kneel before him.”