“Bring it on home, Wallbanger”

“Kittens, lay back. You are about to get Wallbanged.”

“How do you make Wallbanger stop smirking? You kiss him.”

“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot. His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.”

“Why do all men seem to think they need to rescue a woman? Are we not capable of rescuing our damn selves? Why do I need to be rescued? I don’t need a man to rescue me, and I certainly don’t need no wallbanging, Purina-fucking, listening-at-my-wall-like-a-goddamn-psycho coming over here to rescue me! You got that, mister?”

“I’m gonna try to steal home.”I smiled. “Silly Simon, it’s not stealing if I wave you in”

“You done with work?Yep, at home waiting for you.Now that's a nice visual...Prepare yourself, I'm taking bread out of the oven.Don't tease me woman...zucchini?Cranberry orange. Mmmm...No woman has ever done breakfast bread foreplay the way you do.Ha! When you coming?Can't. Drive. Straight.Can we have one conversation when you're not twelve?Sorry, I'll be there in 30Perfect, that will give me time to frost my buns.Pardon me?Oh, didn't I tell you? I also made cinnamon rolls.Be there in 25.”