“Have you seen this guy yet?""Nope. My peephole is getting a workout, though.""Glad to hear at least one hole is getting some action around here.”

“I started to roll my eyes, but that hurt. The right one was pressed so firmly against the peephole, you see.”

“Get your ass over here right now, you motherfucking scary movie pusher.”

“Kittens, lay back. You are about to get Wallbanged.”

“Ok, look. Whenever I hear people say that they felt ‘sparks,’ I usually think it’s a load of poo. I mean, I have felt attraction to people, sure, and I have even felt some instant lust. But sparks? Please... Then he touched my skin. Sparks. Sparks. Sparks. Hot sparks. Flashing sparks. Lightning bolt sparks. J esus, Mary, and Joseph sparks.”

“Just trying to get a visual of you on the beach in Spain…How's that working out for you?Pretty spiffy.Spiffy? Did you just say spiffy?I typed it actually. You got something against spiffy?”

“My shirt bunched up around my waist, and the feeling of his hi-there against my hoohah was indescribable.”