“I panted like a whore in church. The Church of Simon... where I was dying to kneel before him.”

“I moaned like a whore in church.To be fair, I’d never actually heard a whore moan in church, but I had a feeling it sounded a lot like the unholy sounds pouring forth from my mouth.”

“Pushing thoughts of spanking and Simon from my mind, I went back to my DVDs. Spanking Simon. What a great name for a band.”

“I’m gonna try to steal home.”I smiled. “Silly Simon, it’s not stealing if I wave you in”

“You gonna bang my walls, Simon?” I laughed.“You have no idea,” he promised.”

“Simon thought I was lovely.Was the Giggler out of the harem?Was there even a harem left?What did this mean?Would I only think in questions now?And if so, who is Eric Cartman's father?”

“And then I tasted nothing but his sweet lips, pressed firmly to mine, as I kissed him like it was my job.”