“Peeling apples, just peeling apples. Didn’t feel your boobs. No, no, not me”

“Finally, I felt him, exactly where he was meant to be. Barely nudging inside, just the feeling of him entering me was earth-shattering. My own needs quieted for the moment, I watched his face as he began to press inside me for the first time. His eyes bore into mine as I cradled his face in my hands. He looked as though he wanted to say something, and I wondered. What words would we speak, what wonderfully loving things would we say to commemorate this moment?"Hi.""Hi.”

“Hi, pot. It’s me, kettle,” Sophia snapped back.“Hi kettle, you have about thirty seconds before this pot kicks your ass.”

“Grace, did you just sniff my shirt?" He asked, incredulous.“Yep, I did. What of it? And after you leave, I’ll probably lay on your side for a while because the pillow smells like you. I’m ridiculous when I’m in love. We’re talking Hallmark over here.”

“You really have no idea, do you?”“No idea about what?” “How thoroughly you own me, Nightie Girl,” he said, leaning in to whisper this part in my ear. “And I know I love you enough to want you to have your happy ending.”

“My shirt bunched up around my waist, and the feeling of his hi-there against my hoohah was indescribable.”

“Thump“Oh, God”Thump ThumpUnbelievable…I woke up faster this time, because I knew what I was hearing I sat up in bed, glaring behind me. The bed was still pulled safely away from the wall, so I felt no movement. But there sure as hell something moving over there.Then I heard ……hissing?I looked down at Clive, whose tail was at full puff. He arched his back and paced back and forth at the foot of the bed.“Hey, mister. It’s cool. We just got a noisy neighbor, that’s all,” I soothed, stretching my hand out to him. That’s when I heard it. “Meow” I cocked my head sideways, listening more intently. I studied Clive, who looked back at me as if to say “T’weren’t me”.“Meow! Oh, God. Me -Yow!”The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?Clive, at this point, went utterly bonkers and launched himself at the wall. He was literally climbing it, trying to get where the noise was coming from, and adding his own meows to the chorus.“Oooh yes, just like that, Simon…Mmmm….Meow, meow, Meow!”Sweet Lord, there were out-of-control pussies on both sides of this wall tonight.”