“Simon thought I was lovely.Was the Giggler out of the harem?Was there even a harem left?What did this mean?Would I only think in questions now?And if so, who is Eric Cartman's father?”

“Pushing thoughts of spanking and Simon from my mind, I went back to my DVDs. Spanking Simon. What a great name for a band.”

“The tension was so thick in the room, it was too much. He was too much. I couldn’t take the pressure, so I panicked. Sexy and in control Grace left and twelve-year-old Grace took her place. “Heh, heh, you said nuts,” I burst out. My self-edit button was now turned off for good.”

“I panted like a whore in church. The Church of Simon... where I was dying to kneel before him.”

“I’m gonna try to steal home.”I smiled. “Silly Simon, it’s not stealing if I wave you in”

“You gonna bang my walls, Simon?” I laughed.“You have no idea,” he promised.”

“Ok, look. Whenever I hear people say that they felt ‘sparks,’ I usually think it’s a load of poo. I mean, I have felt attraction to people, sure, and I have even felt some instant lust. But sparks? Please... Then he touched my skin. Sparks. Sparks. Sparks. Hot sparks. Flashing sparks. Lightning bolt sparks. J esus, Mary, and Joseph sparks.”