“To things staring you right in the face,” I echoed, our eyes locking over the rims.”

“I started to roll my eyes, but that hurt. The right one was pressed so firmly against the peephole, you see.”

“I don’t know why you’re laughing, Miss Thing,” Nick said, turning his gaze to me. “You still fantasize over Joe McIntyre like you are thirteen years old!”“Oh, I own my obsession. If Joey Joe were here right now, I’d break him. I have no shame.”

“Get your ass over here right now, you motherfucking scary movie pusher.”

“I turned to kiss his fingertips. He stared into my eyes again, those sex sapphires doing their voodoo that made me a puddle of voodoo goo. For him to woo. See what he did to me?”

“Finally, I felt him, exactly where he was meant to be. Barely nudging inside, just the feeling of him entering me was earth-shattering. My own needs quieted for the moment, I watched his face as he began to press inside me for the first time. His eyes bore into mine as I cradled his face in my hands. He looked as though he wanted to say something, and I wondered. What words would we speak, what wonderfully loving things would we say to commemorate this moment?"Hi.""Hi.”

“Why do all men seem to think they need to rescue a woman? Are we not capable of rescuing our damn selves? Why do I need to be rescued? I don’t need a man to rescue me, and I certainly don’t need no wallbanging, Purina-fucking, listening-at-my-wall-like-a-goddamn-psycho coming over here to rescue me! You got that, mister?”