“Wow, girls sure do weird stuff. Especially you American girls. So much shimmer and sparkle. Who told you tits were supposed to sparkle?”

“It breaks my heart the way young girls pick themselves over, never thinking they're good enough. You make sure you always remember, you're exactly the way you're supposed to be. Exactly. And anyone who says otherwise, well, poppycock.”

“He totally came up here to see you. Girl, you are on.”

“You really have no idea, do you?”“No idea about what?” “How thoroughly you own me, Nightie Girl,” he said, leaning in to whisper this part in my ear. “And I know I love you enough to want you to have your happy ending.”

“He was wooing me. And I was letting him woo. I wanted the woo. I deserved the woo. I needed the wow that would surely follow the woo, but for now, the woo? It was whoa.”

“The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?”

“And a fire in the fireplace? Wow, that’s impressive.” I continued, walking backwards into the room.“Yeah, I saw it in a book about how to woo women… apparently you all like to be boinked in front of a roaring fire.”