“If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.”

“If you can't say anything nice about anyone else, come sit next to me.”

“Healing for me is being able to sit next to the butcher and say 'Yes, I’m sitting next to the butcher now,' instead of saying 'there is no butcher'.”

“A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be sitting next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'!”

“And I left the aspirin next to the phone with a tall glass of water. Figured you weren’t going to be able to make it to the coffeepot. Take three, turn your ringer off, and sleep. If anything exciting happens, I’ll come and get you.”“I love you, honey.”“So buy me a mink and a nice pair of earrings for our anniversary.”“You got it.”

“If you can’t say anything nice about somebody, step away from the voice enhancement equipment.”