“She thought of sex as the Star Trek transport.You vaporized and found yourself navigating another planet within the second or two it took to realign.”

“She was my friend because she was kind and funny but she had a face like two oysters fused together in a Star Trek matter transporter accident.”

“Star Trek?” I asked her. “Really?” “What?” she demanded, bending unnaturally black eyebrows together. “There are two kinds of people in the universe, Molly,” I said. “Star Trek fans and Star Wars fans. This is shocking.” She sniffed. “This is the post-nerd-closet world, Harry. It’s okay to like both.” “Blasphemy and lies,” I said.”

“Above the stage was a glass-floored second stage, which allowed customers to look up and watch another girl dancing overhead. This multidimensional display of poontang reminded me of the 3-D chessboard on Star Trek, which in turn reminded me that I was a huge nerd.”

“Do I look like I watch Star Trek?”

“Vulcan?" Leo demanded. "I don't even LIKE Star Trek!”