“The house looked a tiny bit unfamiliar, as houses always do when their owners have ben away.”

“Dittany hadn't lived in Lobelia Falls all her life without coming to realize that walls do in fact have ears and every little bird is a stool pigeon at heart.”

“I'm making a statement about conformity."For or against?"That's for the viewer to decide. I'm an artist, not a preacher."Agnes Phiffer & Osbert Monk in The Grub-and-Stakers Spin a Yarn”

“I never heard such drivel in my life," said Evangeline Fairfield.It was the most injudicious remark she'd ever made. Arethusa turned on her like a wounded tigress.Madam, I write such drivel!”

“At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.”

“When you need to borrow money the Mob seems like a better deal I think. 'You don't pay me back I break both yer legs.' Is that all? You won't take my house or wreck my credit rating? Fine where do I sign. Legs? Fine. You don't even have to sign anything. ”

“Honey, that man would do anything to keep you. Lie, steal, cheat, kill, clean up after himself, and do laundry.”