“Of course, the downside of attending a fictional school is that our lacrosse team sucks.”

“W.W. Hale the Forth bought the car for Headmaster Franklin, or didn’t they mention that? Granted it was to make up for the fire that W.W. Hale allegedly started in the eighth grade before they suggested that all current and future W.W. Hales continue their education elsewhere- which worked out just as well since I’m at the Knightsbury Institute now.”“I’ve never heard of it”“My father got a letter just this week telling him I have become a model student”“Congratulations”…“Yeah, well, I’m the only student.”… “Of course the downside of attending a fictional school is that our lacrosse team sucks.”

“There are certain things in life that just suck. Pouring a big bowl of Lucky Charms before realizing the milk is expired, the word 'moist,' falling face-first into the salad bar in front of the entire lacrosse team . . .”

“There was no girls' cross-country team at our high school, since cross-country courses were two or three miles long, and, at that distance, a girl's uterus could fall out.”

“I was fortunate to attend a school with an excellent library”

“We begin to resemble what we focus on. If we devote our lives to our jobs, then we mentally take the office to our daughter’s lacrosse game.”