“I should be with Ky in the infirmary. i should be with Xander in prinson. I should be sorting for a cure. can only try to do all three and hope these pieces of myself are enough to find something that can make me whole”

“Why should I just sit around hoping it happens when maybe I can do something to make it happen?”

“I am trying to find myselfin all of the chaos,find something that I can call meinside the screams and insidethe 'you shoulds' and 'you have to bes.”

“In order not to find me in contradiction with myself, I should be allowed enough time to explain myself”

“...but suddenly I hope Xander's right. I hope part of me fell in love with Ky before anyone else told me to.”

“it's Ky's move. In the quiet before the Ky takes his turn, Xander watches him carefully. Ky's hand hovers over the board. For a moment, as he holds the piece in the air, I see where he could put it to win and I know he sees it, too, that he planned the whole game for that last move. He looks at Xander and Xander looks back, both of them locked in some kind of challenge that seems to run deeper and older than what's happening here on this board.Then Ky moves his hand and puts his piece down in a spot where Xander can eventually overtake him for the win. Ky doesn't hessitate once he places the piece; he sets it down with a solid sound and leans back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling. I think I see the slightest hint of a smile on his lips but I can't be sure.”