“And your people tried to kill my best friend, so you'll forgive me if I'm not overly keen on learning the secret handshake."She shook her head sadly. "You should be going on dates and hanging out at the mall. Not wearing stakes on your belt."I shrugged one shoulder. "The mall sucks.”

“In middle school, my friends decided I was weird, and they didn’t like my hair. They ditched me and talked behind my back, which is cool — I’m over it. [laughs] One time I called them and said, “Hey, do you want to go to the Berkshire Mall?” They all gave me excuses and said no. So I go to the mall with my mom, and don’t you know, we run into all of them. Together. Shopping. My mom could see I was about to cry, so she said, “You know what? We’re going to the King of Prussia mall,” which was the mecca. ”

“She won't reveal your secret handshake.""It's not my handshake I'm worried about.""Pretend it is.Because as far as I'm concerned,thats all the two of you do. Shake hands.Even if I see you kissing? In my head,I'm going to tell myself that you're shaking hands.”

“Tell you what," I said. "After the testing after the Demon Days, when things settle down -""Things won't settle down.""- I'm going to take you to the mall."She blinked. "The mall? For what reason?""To hang out," I said. "We'll get some hamburgers. See a movie."Zia hesitated. "Is this what you'd call a 'date'?"My expression must have been priceless, because Zia actually cracked a smile. "You look like a cow hit with a shovel.”

“When guys come over to date my daughter, I'm going to tell them, "I want you to go out and have a very good time with my daughter. I want you to enjoy yourself and have her home on time. If you abuse her in any way, I'm going to kill your mother and father, cut your back open, pull out your spine, and leave you in a wheelchair so you can think about what you did for the rest of your life. Now, go out and have a good time!”

“He likes you. You like him, you're just scared. Well," she glanced over her shoulder and dropped her voice, "unless you tell me he's some freaky psycho-killer..." I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Then I'm not letting you mess this up for yourself. Your creepy hermit status is officially over.”