“Are you serious about leaving?"I touched my aching face. "Yes.But I don't know how.""I'd go with you," Colin said quietly."Really?""You know I would.""If you could do anything, what would you do? Would you go back to Ireland?""Maybe," he said. "I've no family left there but I miss the green hills. I'd love to show them to you, show you Tara and the Cliffs of Moher.We could live in a thatched cottage and keep sheep."I grinned at him. "If you clean up after them.""What would be your perfect day then?" he asked, grinning back at me. "If you don't like my sheep?""Your cottage sounds nice," I allowed. "I'd like to sleep in late and read as many books as I'd like and drink tea with lemon and eat pineapple slices for breakfast.""No velvet dresses and diamonds?"I rolled my eyes, then stopped when the bruises throbbed. "Ouch.And no, of course not.I don't care about that. Only books." I looked at him shyly. "And you.""That's all right then," he said softly.”

“Tell me how you could say such a thing, she said, staring down at the ground beneath her feet. You're not telling me anything I don't know already. 'Relax your body, and the rest of you will lighten up.' What's the point of saying that to me? If I relaxed my body now, I'd fall apart. I've always lived like this, and it's the only way I know how to go on living. If I relaxed for a second, I'd never find my way back. I'd go to pieces, and the pieces would be blown away. Why can't you see that? How can you talk about watching over me if you can't see that?”

“Don't you find it strange that your mother would leave you?' Becky said. 'I can't imagine my other leaving me.'I'd never thought of it like that before. 'I don't think she knew what else to do.”

“I'd give everything to back to that moment and make things right.""Would you really? Would you go back in time and change that, if you could?""No. No, maybe not. Because then I wouldn't have this. I wouldn't have you. I have to live with my mistakes, but I don't have to regret them. I regret my actions but I can't regret the consequences.”

“Oh my God. You think you're my babysister, don't you?"He grinned and patted me on the shoulder in the most patronising way possible."Go fly a kite," I growled, turning away.A couple of seconds later, he caught up. "I could do that," he said, like I'd made a serious suggestion.”

“You'll have to learn to forgive," he said. "For if you don't, you know what will happen?""What, Doctor?" I croaked, for my outburst had exhausted me."It will destroy you," he said as he handed me the tea.A tear came into my eye when he said it for I knew it was true and I would have loved to be able to do it (not because of its destroying me but because it was right, and deep down I knew that) but I couldn't and the more I thought of it the more the blood came coursing to my head so that whenever I'd write I'd find myself clutching the pencil so tight I broke the lead how many times I don't know, hundreds.”