“You cannot punch Tegan in the face, you cannot punch Tegan in the face, I kept repeating over and over in my head. It had basically been my mantra since I started here, but it was getting harder and harder to uphold.”
“And the more I started to think of our relationship as a success and less as a dysfunctional fuck-fest, I was basically like. “Yeah, sometimes I do want to punch Tegan, but 99.9 times out of 100, I don’t.”
“You love me?""Of course I do." My shoulders dropped. "I knew it the day I wanted to punch that idiot's face when he had his hands all over you.”
“If you say “I don't read” like it's something to be proud of, punch yourself in the face repeatedly.”
“Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch your life in the face.”
“Have you tried talking to her?" "No. We've been punching her in the face repeatedly. What? You don't think that will work?”