“You take your flashlight out on your walks, right?” Simon asked.“Depends on the moonlight.”“From now on, take it with you every night. When you’re outwalking this way, you’ll pass the gazebo, where, chances are, I willbe smoking.”“Then what?”“You can signal—say, three times if you want to take a walk withme. Twice if you want to walk alone. that way I’ll just let you walkon. It’ll be like a military code. No one gets hurt.”I laughed. “that’s silly and charming.”“I try. I can signal back with my cigarette lighter too,” Simonsaid, holding up the lighter and firing off three short bursts offlame. “So, like, if I see you first and I happen to not wish to talk toyou, I can fire off two bursts and block you in your tracks.”

“After that, Simon swam naked every night. By the third skinnydippingsession, I secretly peeled off my bikini top while I was inthe water. It was safe. Simon was splashing somewhere ahead ofme. He couldn’t see. It was an amazing feeling. I felt free. Or at least half of me did.And right then that seemed to "t with the person I felt I was onLong Island: half-cautious, half-spontaneous, surprising myselfwith my random behavior, my sudden moves away from who Ithought I was.“So how was it, your half skinny dip?” Simon asked as I wasdrying off.“You were watching me?” I blushed, horrified.“Just a hunch,” he replied. “Feels good though, right?”I hit him with the towel.”

“Believing is never a waste of time." Simon looked at me intently his eyes flickering. "Even if you're wrong you could have been right. Take me with my painting I don't know if I'm any good. So maybe I shouldn't try because maybe I'd be setting myself up for disappointment. But it's like you looking for old coins on the beach. Whether you find any or not is for bonus points it's the search that counts. It's the belief that they might be out there.”

“Simon nodded. “You need your beauty sleep.”“Do I?” I said coolly.“I didn’t mean,” Simon stuttered. “I meant…you’re a girl and all.”“Thanks for telling me,”

“I’ll see ya,” I said in a neutral tone. I wasn’t sure whether tobe annoyed by Simon or by myself, or by both of us. “I can walkhome,” I added as Simon trudged alongside me to the walkwayleading up to Wind Song.“I can see that. You’re very talented at it.”

“You can only take steps toward the future you want. It's not guaranteed to be there.”

“I've always had a good memory a good head for facts although when something is behind you it changes when you try to capture it in words. The past is slippery that way. I know all about that. And even the present is hard to pin down. You think you know everything that's happening around you. But you can't always see clearly when you're standing right there in the picture.”